Beautiful Disaster
by moderndayportia
Summary: She wanted to believe Kakashi still saw her as the old Sakura. If he carried the memory of her happiness then she could believe that some part of her had survived unaltered, even if it was only a little piece that didn’t belong to her anymore. KakaSaku
1. Ch 1: Liquid Analgesic

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

_**Beautiful Disaster**_

**Chapter 1: Liquid Analgesic**

* * *

It wasn't that she had changed

Of course she had grown up and had been subjected to all of physical changes that came with it. At the age of 22, Haruno Sakura was nothing if not an adult. Her lithe frame was adorned with womanly curves in all the right places; long legs topped by rounded hips, a softly muscled tummy and cinched waist, moderately filled out chest, and a long lean neck. Her body, sculpted by hard physical training since the age of seven when she was first incorporated into the shinobi life, was indeed beautiful to behold. Her face, too, was altered by age, the epitome of understated beauty. Though she had often been berated as a child for having a large forehead, age had graced her features with a gentle balance. Her porcelain skin, jade eyes, and long pink hair made Sakura appear to be otherworldly and exotic. Among all the beautiful women in Konoha coveted my men, Sakura was indeed widely esteemed for her ethereal beauty.

But it wasn't just that she had changed.

It would be easy to say that Sakura's loveliness was the manifestation of some internal beauty. But nothing about Sakura was easily definable anymore.

In reality, her beauty was but a deception conceling a very harsh inner turmoil: the physical mask she wore every day that hid much more from the people around her.

Inside, Sakura was broken.

As she sat at the bar, a picture of loveliness, swirling caramel colored liquor around in a short glass, Sakura's thoughts were delving into the very dark territory of the past.

'_Two years ago today,' _she thought. Gulping down the content of the glass and pushing it forward, she glanced at the bartender to signal her need for a refill. Sitting alone in a seedy bar frequented by the shinobi of konoha was not something that Sakura often indulged in. However, today was the type of day in which Sakura couldn't give a shit about propriety. The only thing that currently mattered was the burn of alcohol in her throat and the numbing feeling radiating out from her belly. As the surrounding bar grew blurrier and blurrier, Sakura sat in calm silence, wrapped in her loneliness and a dense bourbon haze.

* * *

In the dark back corner of the bar, three shinobi sat at a table sharing a large bottle of sake between them. Kakashi, Genma, and Shikamaru had just returned from a difficult two week mission. It had been the type of mission that left each of them feeling like a tightly wound bundle of nerves. Hoping to unwind a little, they were contenting thier residual uneasiness with a few pitchers of sake, a little drunken socialization, and in Genma's case, the search for a beautiful woman to bed.

Rolling his senbon from the left to the right side of his mouth and squinting his alcohol fogged eyes, Genma cautiously eyed the pink haired kunoichi sitting alone at the bar.

"Hey Kakashi, isn't that Sakura sitting over there," he asked the man on his right in a low voice.

Shikimaru turned slowly and glanced over his shoulder. Upon spotting the woman at the bar he rolled his eyes and shot Genma a look. "Tch. You know very well that's her Genma," he sighed, "shes the only woman in Konoha with bright pink hair. Its not that hard to identify her."

Genma furrowed his eyebrows, pursed his lips and glared back at Shikamaru in mock spite. Being teamed up with the young genius for the past year had taught him not to bother taking his sarcasm very seriously. And besides, in a battle of wits, Shikamaru would always come out on top, though the senbon wielder often was tempted to try his luck. "Well whatever," he continued quirking a eyebrow up, "looks like she's all alone tonight, huh?"

Kakashi narrowed his uncovered eye behind his book but did not bother to reply. He knew better than to enter a conversation in which Sakura would be the topic with his lecherous friend. Though usually pretty harmless, Genma was not at all shy about sharing the excessively nasty thoughts that constantly occupied his very dirty mind.

Genma tossed a quick glance at Kakashi then dismissed himself from the table."Well, I think I'll just get myself another drink."

Shikamaru scoffed and reached for the still full pitcher of sake sitting in the center of the table. "A drink my ass," he mumbled.

Kakashi sighed and downed an entire glass of sake behind his book before turning back to his reading. Genma's antics were nothing new to him and he had become accustomed to dismissing any questionable behavior on the man's part when sake and women were involved. And anyways, he was sure Sakura was smart enough to handle Genma's advances on her own. She had always dealt with him extremely well in the past. Though Kakashi hadn't spoken to her in a few years, Sakura had always been a really smart girl.

Despite this, Kakashi found that every few minutes he couldn't help but glance furtively at the bar where Genma had sauntered up and was leaning precariously close to the pink haired woman.

* * *

Sakura sighed before she downed another glass of bourbon and returned to staring listlessly at the wooden bar.

"Hello beautiful" a voice whispered into her ear.

"Genma" she replied dismissively. Sakura was no stranger to the flirtatious special jounin's advances. Even when he came to the hospital badly injured and gushing blood, Genma always found a way to engage the women around him in playful banter. She didn't particularly mind the attention one way or the other, chalking it up to his infamous attraction to anything on two legs with tits and ass.

"You look like you could use some company love," Genma said pulling a stool up close and sitting down next to Sakura.

"Mmm," she hummed, not wanting to open the door for him to ask her what was wrong. She hoped that being somewhat unresponsive would convey her desire to not be questioned by her new companion.

"Ah, one of those kind of days, huh?" he said, signaling that he got the drift. "Me too. Just returned from one hella hard mission with Kakashi and Shikamaru. Don't really want to think about it much…." his voice drifted off into thoughtful silence.

At the mention of Kakashi's name Sakura's eyebrow raised slightly, but she quickly checked her emotion and stilled her face.

"Yea…" she replied distantly before turning to study the face of the man beside her. He did actually look somewhat distraught. And she found herself appreciating the unusual tact he was displaying and the soft smile that graced his handsome profile.

"Well anyways," Genma said turning to her with a wider smile and a wink, "how about I get us some warm sake? We could both obviously use a little cheering up and I bet your pretty smile is all I need to feel better." He gently placed his hand on the small of her back while leaning forward to look past her down the bar to wave the bartender over.

Sakura was not surprised at his forwardness, but she was somewhat taken aback by his gentle handling. Genma was normally somewhat goofy and raunchy when flirting, but tonight he seemed different, more sincere in a way. She wondered just how upsetting his mission really had been to affect him so drastically. Looking down into her empty glass she supposed it couldn't hurt to have a couple drinks with him, if for no other reason than to make her feel less pitiful for sitting at a bar alone getting trashed. And besides, the gentle pressure of his hand on her back and the warmth of his body brushing against her own felt rather nice.

Though Sakura knew she had already gone well past her limit, she gratefully picked up her glass after Genma filled it with the newly delivered warm sake. Unlike the numbing effects of the bourbon she had previously been imbibing, the sake made her insides feel warm and somewhat tingly and she found herself leaning closer into the handsome man sitting next to her. They were both obviously inebriated, but neither minded much as they enjoyed the comfort of easy companionship.

Genma sipped his sake and turned slowly to face Sakura. He allowed his gaze to travel over her entire body, up from her long legs casually crossed and dangling off the bar stool, to her waist where he could see the slightest hint of porcelain skin peeking out from under her short shirt to the graceful curve of her shoulder where it met her long neck. '_God, she really is gorgeous_' he thought to himself as a yearning feeling began to tug at his mind. Then, as if it was a reflex, he reached his hand out and tucked an unruly piece of hair pink hair that had been resting on her soft cheek behind her ear.

The tender gesture took Sakura aback as she met Genma's gaze with deep green eyes. He stared at her intensely if not a little bit hazily from the alcohol. The senbon in his mouth rolled lazily back and forth between his teeth and Sakura found herself focused on his lips as if hypnotized by the motion. Her breath hitched slightly when Genma pulled the senbon out of his mouth and leaned in dangerously close to whisper into her ear. "God, Sakura, you have no idea what you can do to a man, do you?"

The low rough timber of his voice and the hot breath caressing her ear and neck sent tingles shooting down Sakura's spine. Normally Genma's attentions could never have this effect on her. She realized the alcohol must seriously be affecting her inhibitions for Genma's advances to make her react so strongly, but suddenly Sakura didn't really care. All that really mattered at the moment was the touch of his lips to her ear, the hand sliding up her leg to rest on her hip, the hot waves rolling over her as his body got closer and closer to her own.

'_To hell with it all' _she thought as one of Genma's hands ran up her arm and to the back of her neck.

"Why don't you show me" she whispered breathily into his ear.

* * *

Kakashi hastily latched the bathroom door locked with a click and tore the mask down off his face. He leaned onto the closed door, pressing his forehead against the cool wood.

"Damnit, damnit, damnit" he growled.

Watching Genma walk up to the bar to hit on Sakura had been somewhat irritating. But it was something he had once grown accustomed to. And he had expected her to thwart the other jounin's advances easily and quickly enough, perhaps with her infamous temper or her even more infamous right hook. Or at least that's how the Sakura he kenw would have handled it. Or rather, the Sakura he had known.

But this woman, sitting at the bar alone drinking hard liquor straight, hadn't turned his friend away. Though her body language clearly indicated ambivalence, she didn't lean away as Genma had ran his hand along her lower back. Instead, her eyes kept flicking up from the glass to the face of the man next to her.

Staring at the hand on Sakura's lower back had made a burning feeling run through Kakashi's chest. Anger? Maybe. Jealousy? No, that couldn't be it. It was something much more deep, much more base. Kakashi didn't really know, but he did know he needed to get the hell away from the scene unfolding before him and calm himself down before he was forced to break his cool and indifferent exterior in order to intervene. Sakura would surely tell Genma to fuck off soon enough anyways.

So that's why Kakashi found himself in the bar's seedy bathroom pacing back and forth. _'What the fuck is Sakura doing here anyway_,' his thoughts raced. '_She shouldn't be sitting in a bar alone drinking so much._' Kakashi had been discretely monitoring how much she had drank since he first spotted her at the bar. As she downed glass after glass of caramel colored liquor he began to feel a slight tinge of concern. He knew that, even though she was the apprentice to a famous drunk, she was probably beyond inebriated at this point.

But Sakura was an adult now and she had been through more terrifying things than most shinobi ever knew. If she wanted to drink herself into oblivion for a night, he wasn't one to judge. God only knows she deserved to do whatever after what she had been through…

Images began to play across his vision and the familiar dark feeling of depair washed over his body. The memories that haunted him were ecaping the cell he locked them in once again.

_A small fragile body laying on the cold forest floor. _

"Shit" Kakashi groaned as he leaned onto the sink. He switched the faucet on and furiously splashed cool water onto his bare face. Looking forward into the mirror at the long scar bisecting his closed left eye, Kakashi was instantly reminded of the reason why he avoided Sakura in the first place. The excruciating guilt that her presence brought was unbearable. Not that Kakashi was afraid of guilt: it was the feeling he embraced more that any other. Failing people was something Kakashi believed he excelled at. But unlike all the other people whom he had failed in the past, Sakura was here and tangible and seeing her was like being forced to relive everything all over again. Seeing her forced him to bear witness to the pain she was still suffering, her torture that still hadn't ended. To admit that he was still failing her.

The beautiful and bright eyed young woman he had once known had faded away. Though Sakura was indeed still beautiful, perhaps one of the most beautiful women of the village in Kakashi's opinion, she no longer radiated a powerful sense of energy and life.

'_God, she has changed so much_.' Kakashi couldn't bear to see it, couldn't stand to look into the now jaded eyes and see all the pain laid bare underneath. It would only make him sad, and furious that he hadn't been able to save her from this, from the slow torture that her life had become. It was all his fault.

'_It's all my fault' _he internally berated himself. He would never be able to make it up to her. He had failed her too terribly to even deserve to speak to her or be graced with that now faded smile of hers. She probably couldn't even stand to be near him, she probably could never forgive him anyways.

But at least there was something he could do for her tonight. Knowing that she had drank much too much to maintain her faculties, Kakashi could follow her home and make sure she made it safely. Though Sakura would most definitely be able to sense his chakra signature when sober, the very large amount of alcohol he had watched her consume would definitely insure he would be able to watch her without detection.

Kakashi felt somewhat eased by his decision to escort Sakura from afar, but he didn't even dare to think about how it was as much for his sake as hers.

Just as he had straightened himself up in front of the mirror and tugged his mask back up over his face, he heard a series of loud bangs on the door.

"Hey asshole, le'me in there," Shikamaru's slurred voice yelled.

Sighing Kakashi flipped the lock and wrenched the door open. Shikamaru, who had obviously been leaning heavily onto the closed doorframe, spilled through and onto the floor where he lay sprawled out and dazed.

"Good God man, did you have to get so wasted tonight?" Kakashi sighed.

"Tch. It's troublesome" the drunk shinobi slurred while attempting to rise up off of his knees.

Kakashi leaned over and pulled the young genius up off the floor. Noticing the man's slight greenish tinge, the Copy nin firmly guided him into the stall with the toilet and waited patiently while his teammate emptied his stomach of booze. When the young man was done wretching Kakashi pulled him up once again and dragged him towards the sinks and flipped the water on.

"Thanks sempai," Shikamaru groggily smiled at Kakashi through the reflection in the mirror.

"No problem Shika. Just do me a favor and take it easy, all right? I didn't think you would be the type of guy to cause trouble seeing as your always bitching about it," he teased. "You should probably be getting home now anyways, shouldn't you?"

"Nah, she understands. Besides she's just gonna bitch at me if I wake her up right now. Troublesom woman."

Kakashi rolled his eyes at Shikamaru's behavior. "Anyways, I think I'm gonna get some air for a bit and then take off. Will you let Genma know I'll catch up with him later?" he asked his young teammate.

"Yea I would but he already left with Sakura a little while ago," Shikimaru mumbled.

Kakashi instantly transformed from the lackadaisical man teasing his drunk friend to a intensely scary ninja. Shikamaru glanced back when he sensed the waves of murderous intent rolling off the man behind him. The copy nin growled in a dangerously serious voice through clenched teeth "What?"

Glancing downward at his comrades tightly clenched and shaking fists Shikamaru raised an eyebrow and tentatively responded. "Umm, yea they left together maybe ten minutes before I came in here. But I'm not really sure….."

The rest of Shikamaru's words were lost on death ears as Kakashi tore furiously from the bathroom, the door swinging and creating a loud resounding crack as it crashed into the wall behind.

"What the hell is his problem" Shikamaru slurred, eyebrow still quirked up and staring at the empty doorway which the other shinobi had just tore through. Sighing and filing away the events of the previous moments for analysis at a later time when he was more sober, Shikamaru stumbled from the bathroom and headed back towards the bar and the wonderful feeling of sake and company.

* * *


	2. Ch 2: Catalyst

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

_**Beautiful Disaster**_

**Chapter 2: Catalyst**

* * *

Hot wet kisses were pressed frantically against her mouth. Sakura moaned and arched her back to grind her hips into the warm body pushing her firmly into the wall. The chill of night air was quickly dissipated by the burning touch of strong hands running over her tingling skin. His body, her body, the torrid heat of contact was all that existed for her in that moment.

In the very back of her mind it occurred to Sakura just how wrong what they were doing was. Being taken by this man against the rough wall in a dark alley behind a shady bar was most definitely very, very wrong. But, as Genma ground his hips into her burning center and nibbled and sucked her kiss swollen bottom lip, all thoughts fled her mind. She needed his touch, firm and rough and sure. She needed to forget everything but the pleasure of his contact and the burning inferno of his body.

Genma growled as Sakura ran her hands over his chest, teasingly raking her fingernails over his nipples through the thin fabric of his shirt. As one hand pressed her hip firmly back into the wall, the other caressed over her neck and tangled into her messed pink hair, roughly tugging her head back to give him better access to the creamy expanse of her throat. He tasted it with open mouth kisses and searing bites that made her breath hitch with pleasure. Her responsiveness was driving him crazy with desire and he simply couldn't stand not having this beautiful women for a second longer. His hand moved down from her hip, ran over her pert ass and along the back of her thigh and guided her long shapely leg up to hook around his hip. The sudden contact of hard against warm and soft made Sakura arch and softly groan into his open mouth. His expert tongue took advantage of the extra access and frantically explored her mouth and swallowed up soft pants and moans as he ground his manhood against her core.

Hearing a sound from the direction of the bar's back door, Genma hesitantly pulled away from the greedy mouth of the panting vixen wrapped around him. "I think he have company" he whispered huskily against her ear, taking the delicious lobe into his mouth and nibbling until he elicited a feminine gasp before he could turn to tell the intruder to fuck off.

But when his eyes locked onto the form of Hatake Kakashi, standing in the alleyway with clenched fists and a dangerous look in his eye emphasized by the ragged breaths that clearly signaled fury, Genma froze. There were not many people that could frighten the elite special jounin. He had faced countless enemies during his career, even walking away from a battle with Suna's infamous Baki with barely a scratch, but Genma wasn't stupid. He knew what happened to people that were on the receiving end of his friend Kakashi's anger, and he never wanted to be in that position. So the presence of the enraged Copy nin staring at him with deadly intent was enough to make Genma very, very concerned.

"Shit" he said with alarm and squeezed his eyes closed as he leaned his forehead onto the shoulder of the gorgeous woman writhing between him and the wall. He needed a second to think, he felt torn between his consuming desire to take the panting Sakura who had her leg wrapped sexily around his hip, and his even more profound desire to live. Fortunately for Genma, he didn't have to make a decision since the next thing he knew he was torn away from Sakura's supple body and thrown violently against the wall on the other side of the alleyway.

Sakura whimpered at the sudden loss of heat and slowly opened her lust and alcohol hazed eyes to view the scene unfolding before her.

Kakashi rounded on his friend standing up from the ground of the alleyway and bracing himself with one hand against the brick wall.

"What the fuck are you doing?" he spoke slowly and softly in a manner that resembled a growl.

Genma's eyes widened for a brief moment when he heard the dangerously familiar tone in his teammate's voice. But then he glanced quickly over at Sakura still leaning against the other wall, chest heaving with the remnants of arousal, and he suddenly found himself infuriated at his friend's interference.

"Nani? What the fuck do _you_ think _your_ doing?" he spat back at Kakashi as he pushed off from the wall to stand at his full height, unconsciously squaring his hips to signal defiance.

Sakura watched hazily as the men in front of her glared at each other and preformed the banal act of male posturing. Her mind was still foggy with alcohol and lust so she couldn't quite understand what exactly was happening between the two men. The only facts that were able to register were that suddenly the man who had been giving her mind-numbing pleasure was across the alleyway from her and that Kakashi was to blame.

'_Kakashi! What the hell is he doing here?'_ she thought frantically, hazed mind suddenly snapping into focus on his presence. I

Instantly the blissful numbness which had washed over her under Genma's ministrations was lost and replaced by the familiar ache deep in her chest. A cold shiver ran up her spine as she looked back and forth between the men and she suddenly felt all the strength in her legs drain away. She became very grateful for the wall behind her, helping hold her shaky frame up off of the ground. Was it the alcohol or Kakashi that was making her feel this way? She didn't know. All she really knew was the wave of despair which crashed over her and washed away all her warmth, leaving her to feel unbelievably weak and cold.

"This is none of your business. What the hell are you doing Kakashi!"

Kakashi continued to glare with deadly seriousness at his friend.

"Is this about her?"

It was a rhetorical question. Obviously it was about her.

"What gives you the right to come out here and interfere? This is between Sakura and I. Explain to me how this is any of your damned business Hatake" Genma heatedly demanded, his voice strong and steady despite the deadly glare from the man he was addressing.

Kakashi suppressed the urge to lunge forward and plunge a kunai into the chest of his good friend. He felt like the bastard was baiting him, trying to get him to reveal things in front of Sakura which had always remained unsaid. He took a slow breath and attempted to rein his inner emotions under control before speaking again. However, he found his control was precarious at best.

"She is not one of the typical whores you screw in the back alley of a bar," he shot bitterly, the caustic tone of his voice burning with spite.

"No, she most certainly is not a whore," Genma snapped at the obvious affront to not only himself, but also the other women he found company with. "Sakura is an adult. She is smart, beautiful and single and more than capable of making her own decisions without guidance from her _former_ sensei. And where and if I _screw_ her is none of your god damned business _Hatake_," he snarled sarcastically.

Kakashi stiffened at the word sensei. _'How dare he throw that in my face. That bastard,'_ he seethed.

But though Kakashi was beyond furious with his friend, he knew that this situation would only escalate into an all out brawl if they continued on in the same direction they were currently heading. He hated to show emotion to anyone and anger was definitely a very powerful emotion. Of course there was no way in hell he was going to let Sakura leave with Genma, but he realized that using his fist as a means of persuasion, although it would be thoroughly satisfying, would not be very effective in preventing this from happening again. So, bridling the irrational urge to tear Genma's dirty hands off his body, Kakashi decided to cut his losses and attempt to appeal to his friend's rational side.

Sighing, Kakashi released the tension in his shoulders and unclenched his balled fists. It was difficult but necessary for him to stifle the roaring rage burning inside. Though killing Genma would be satisfying at the moment, it would cause more problems than he was willing to deal with. And this wasn't about Genma. It was about Sakura. Surely Genma understood.

Kakashi ducked his head and cast his exposed eye towards the ground in a manner that implied weary resignation. Genma had been there, he had to understand. In a soft and hesitant voice Kakashi pleaded with his friend, "You know Genma…..You know that she's different. You were there, you were there when….." He stopped before his voice could betray any of the sharp emotion welling up into his chest and throat.

Genma listened to his friend with an arched eyebrow, but his anger wasn't dissuaded by the copy nin's emotive plea. For some reason it angered Genma even more. No, not just angered him, infuriated him. He watched the way Sakura's chin dropped to her chest and her shoulders slumped in response to those words and suddenly he was enraged at his friend's stupidity. Stupidity and ignorance and insensitivity all bound together and thrown out carelessly to stab the beautiful woman like daggers. That he would say that in front of Sakura….

"How dare you" Genma's voice rose to almost yelling, chest swelling with anger. "How fucking dare you! That woman behind you deserves to be treated the like the beautiful woman she is! She's not just some broken doll that needs to be handled with care! How dare you imply that she is just _damaged_ _goods_," he screamed furiously before his mind could register what he was saying.

The pitiful sound that fell from Sakura's mouth at Genma's outburst was somewhere between a whimper and a gasp. Genma's eyes flew wide open and his jaw fell as he realized what he had just done. His face read complete shock as he stared into the flaming eye of his friend.

Suddenly, beyond infuriated, Kakashi pulled back his arm and smashed Genma square in the face with a force and quickness reserved for only the most vile of enemies. The man skidded backwards several feet and slammed into the brick wall with a loud crack before either realized what happened. Kakashi's still extended fist quivered in mid air with dangerous desire to hit again. If not for his firmly entrenched self control, Kakashi would have been unable to keep from pounding his friend to the brink of death for those damned insinuations. His blood pounded threw his veins like a viscous poison tearing up his insides. He wanted nothing more at the moment than to soothe the burning fury in his chest by wrapping his hands around Genma's throat. Kakashi was dangerously close to falling over the edge and giving into the murderous animal urges screaming inside of him.

But then the sound of a soft whimper and thud suddenly broke the deadly tense silence that had settled over the alley way and brought Kakashi back to himself. Genma's gaze flicked off of Kakashi's narrowed black eye and flinched painfully when it settled on Sakura. Kakashi turned slowly to look over his shoulder and felt all of his anger turn and plunge into self loathing because of what he saw.

Sakura's legs had given out from under her and she had slid down the wall of the alleyway to sit on the cold damp ground. Her head was resting against her knees as two thin arms weakly hugged her legs into her chest. Her back rose and fell with quick silent sobs, her face hidden by the shroud of her hair.

Both men watched her trembling form with fear.

Genma slowly rose up from the ground. He cringed slightly and spit blood onto the grimy concrete before wiping his torn and bleeding lip off on the back of his arm. Quietly walking forward till he was shoulder to shoulder with his frozen comrade, he bitterly spoke, "God, we are fucking morons…."

Kakashi continued to stare at the shivering woman over his shoulder. He suddenly was unable to form words in his mind so he simply nodded his ascent.

"I need to take her home," Genma whispered in a pained tone. He shifted to take a step towards her when he was firmly stopped by Kakashi's hand grabbing his forearm. Turning to look at his friends concealed face, Genma was taken aback by what he found in Kakashi's uncovered eye. Guilt and pain were there right at the surface. Kakashi never showed such raw and naked emotion, ever. In all the years of knowing him, Genma had only seen him this way once before. Even in the most terrible situations, Kakashi masked his feelings like he masked his face. But right now he was standing there, showing Genma the raw pain he felt with no filters, and that conveyed more to Genma than words ever could.

The infamous Copy-nin had let down his guard.

Genma simply gave him a small nod and the hand holding back his arm slid off to hang limply at Kakashi's side. Stepping towards Sakura, Genma crouched down in front of her little form.

"I'm sorry blossom," he said gently, then leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on the crown of her pink head. He hesitantly rose and turned to Kakashi before walking out of the alley way. "You better take care of her Hatake," he whispered before turning to leave. His words, however, continued to reverberate through the silence even as he turned the corner and disappeared into the cold night.

Kakashi turned towards Sakura and his eyebrows winced together in pain. They were such fools. Lost in their testosterone driven anger, he and Genma had completely disregarded the fact that Sakura was still in that alley way too. They had become so consumed with scathing words and the desire for violence that the fragile young woman leaning against the wall had been neglected entirely. Damn their selfishness. And now she was there, huddled up on the cold wet ground, immobilized by the horrible words that had escaped both men's mouths. Kakashi's stomach sank and his hands began to shake as he looked down on Sakura's shivering form.

"Sakura, I….." he stopped upon hearing the sound of his wavering voice, not strong enough to find words to make better what he had done. He hated how his emotions were so openly obvious, hated how his voice and body were betraying what was going on inside. But now that didn't matter at all, his damned pride could go to hell as far as he was concerned.

"Sakura…"

She didn't respond. He didn't expect her too. He had acted like a stupid selfish bastard and he didn't deserve to be in her presence.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

She didn't even move to acknowledge him. "Sakura, please, just let me walk you home.."

Kakashi felt a little alarmed by her continuing unresponsiveness. She didn't even lift her head to look at him as he slowly approached her.

"Sakura?" Kakashi's eye widened in alarm. What the hell was happening to her?

He could tell that she was completely lost to the physical world, to the reality of sitting on the ground of an alley way. He had sometimes seen traumatized people in this type of state. She was unconsciously hugging her knees to her chest for the comforting feeling of touch and warmth to soothe the tremors that were wracking her body. Her eyes were squeezed tightly closed and her head, resting on her knees, slowly lolled back in forth.

"God Sakura, what did I do," Kakashi fearfully whispered as he kneeled down in front of her. He reached his shaking hands out to rest on her hunched shoulders. The alcohol and the fight she had been forced to witness in the alley way had sent Sakura into some kind of a dangerously despondent state. He needed to take care of her now, needed to bring her back from wherever it was that she had gone in her mind.

Kakashi gently slid his fingers under her chin and coaxed her face up off of her knees. Her eyes stayed closed and her face was surprisingly absent of any signs of tears. Her mouth slightly parted as shivering breaths rushed in and out.

"Sakura...Sakura...Sakura...come back" he repeated her name softly, trying desperately to get her to open her eyes.

Kakashi felt a little of the weight lift off of his chest as her eyes slowly opened to reveal muted jade orbs. But the look in them was far off and Kakashi felt a shiver run down his back. It was like she was looking straight through him.

"Sakura, please look at me" he pleaded, leaning forward so his eyes were level with hers.

Suddenly, her pupils violently constricted as her mind found focus on the presence of the man in front of her. Kakashi anxiously watched her body tense and her futile attempt to jerk away from him and press further into the wall. A frightened whimper fell from her lips as she frantically glanced about, looking for an easy escape route. Kakashi knew that she was confused, that her mind believed that she was back _there_. His chest ached as he watched the fear take over her little form.

Kakashi grabbed her hand and firmly pulled it towards him to rest on his chest. "Look at me Sakura. Please just look at me," he pleaded.

She blinked rapidly, then a flash of recognition crossed over her face. The tension drained from her body and dissipated, leaving her weak and quivering.

"Kakashi" his name fell like a question from her shaking lips. He pulled her forward towards him and her head fell to rest on his shoulder.

_'Thank god,' _Kakashi thought as he allowed the relief to wash over him.

He closed his eyes and wrapped an arm around her. His fingers found their way to the back of her neck and tenderly laced through her hair as he pressed her harder against his chest, trying to soothe away her shaking. As he listened to her weak trembling breaths, he couldn't deny that it was all too familiar….

Kakashi felt like he desperately needed to do something before the dangerous memories started flooding in.

Wrapping an arm under her legs, Kakashi pulled Sakura closer to him and stood up. He didn't want to look down at her, he knew he shouldn't. It would only remind him of the last time he had held her in his arms like this.

But she quietly spoke and his gaze immediately fell down to her pale face and half lidded eyes.

"Ka..kakashi…I…I'm… c..cold" she stuttered weakly before her eyes rolled backwards and she lost her last grip on painful consciousness.

And with that the damn broke and the images violently flooded his vision.

* * *

_The metallic smell of blood filled his nose. The olfactory sensation of blood lingering in the air was something he was used to, but somehow it seemed so out of place in the calm whiteness of the winter forest. The pure beauty of the newly fallen snow was tainted by that smell. Kakashi looked over his shoulder at Genma, who had also suddenly stopped and was now crouching on a tree branch looking around warily. He nodded and jerked his head to the right in silent communication and they both suddenly took off into the dense forest canopy to investigate. _

_Kakashi traveled at a fair distance behind Genma for a few minutes, keeping a wary eye on the surrounding woods trying to sense any enemy presence. Suddenly, at the edge of a large clearing Genma stopped and tensed up rod straight with alarm before he dropped down off of the tree bough onto the forest floor. Kakashi stopped and followed suit before walking through the trees towards his comrade, wondering why he was behaving so oddly. Genma had turned back towards Kakashi and was looking at him, his face reading anxiety and trepidation_

_Kakashi's heart was suddenly racing in his chest. He didn't know why but something in Genma's face made panic began to course through his body._

"_Genma? What is it?"_

_Genma's eyes widened and he looked at Kakashi with fear, but he didn't say anything._

"_Genma?" the alarm was evident now. _

_Kakashi quickened his pace and rushed past his friend into the blinding white light of the clearing. _

_But what he saw made him stop dead in his tracks and double over. An unfettered gasp escaped his lips and then turned into a pained wail._

_Laying in the center of the clearing, surrounded by a halo of blood, was the nearly naked and battered form of his former student, Haruno Sakura. _

_The world spun around Kakashi as he fell down to his hands and knees. A vicious wave of nausea rolled over him and he struggled to hear or see anything other than the blood pounding through his ears and and across his vision. _

_The body in front of him was brutally beaten. But it was Sakura. There was no denying it. The curve of her profile and the shocking bright pink hair did not lie. It was his Sakura. She was covered in blood and emaciated and obviously tortured and lying in the snow. And it was Sakura._

_Kakashi felt a hand on his shoulders and looked up to see a very pale Genma holding out the other to help him up. 'What am I doing,' he asked himself. 'This is not how an elite shinobi acts,' he thought briefly then took Genma's outstretched hand and pulled himself up off of the ground. _

_But when his eyes feel on Sakura again all thoughts of professionalism were quickly dismissed. _

_He hesitantly took a step towards her lifeless form. Then time stopped. He noticed something significant that he hadn't seen before. Small puffs of steam rising above her open mouth showed she was still breathing. She was still alive. Time resumed as he ran towards her across the expanse of white ground. _

_Kakashi feel to his knees besides her body, pooled blood soaking into and through the material of his pants. He reached out a shaking hand to touch the skin of her upturned palm, as if trying to make sure she was real. But the tactile feel of her cold skin under his fingers could not persuade his stunned mind. _

_He brought his shaking hands into a seal. "Kai" his stern voice called. _

_But the scene before him did not disappear. He said it again, this time his voice sounded more frantic. "Kai!" _

_He wanted so desperately for the form of his broken student to be an illusion. If she was an illusion that would mean that Sakura had met the quick death he had convinced himself to believe in six months ago when she had disappeared. It was too unthinkable, unbearable to think that she had been alive all this time. To think about what she had been experiencing for the last half a year, how long she had been suffering God knows what…. _

"_Oh God please….Kai!" Kakashi's wavering and desperate voice filled the cold still air of the forest. _

_But Sakura was still there, still bleeding into the snow, still laying unconscious and exposed to the biting air. She wasn't an illusion and Kakashi hadn't walked into a genjutsu. The reality crashed down onto his mind and knocked the wind out of him. _

_Behind him he could hear Genma brace himself against the trunk of a tree and retch the contents of his stomach onto the snow._

_Kakashi leaned his head down to press his ear against her bare chest and listen to the weak rhythm of her heart. Though the temperature of the air was below freezing, her skin felt burning hot against the skin of his face. Fever and infection were quietly ravaging her little body. _

_She wasn't going to make it much longer. _

_The end was dangerously near. _

_Kakashi felt her stir slightly and heard her breaths wheeze through her chest as she gathered air to speak. He sat up and looked into her battered face to find her eyes barely peeking open at him._

"_Sauske?" she weakly breathed, eyes opened further now, but still unseeing._

"_N-no, Sakura, it's Kakashi," he found he was barely able to reply. _

"_Oh my god, what the hell…." Genma breathed, still unable to move from shock._

_Kakashi reached out his trembling hands and hesitantly pulled her into his arms and rested her weight in his lap. _

_She let out a soft whimper as her body was flooded with pain from the movement. _

_"I know it hurts baby, just hold on," Kakashi weakly tried to sooth her._

_He was so scared he was going to break her fragile body further. He cradled her head in the crook of his arm and brought his other hand up to trace the curve of her face. His fingers covered with blood, covered with her blood, left red smears over the swollen bruised skin of her cheek.._

"_Sakura…"_

_Sakura's body suddenly jerked to the side in his arms as she coughed violently, tremors seizing her frame, bright red blood splashing from her mouth onto the white ground. The juxtaposition of warm and crimson against white and cold was violent and disturbing. _

_Her eyes lolled around in her head as her breaths became even more labored. Her emaciated body quaking with shivers._

_Quivering lips struggled to form coherent words as her mind tried desperately to keep hold of reality. Her breath hitching violently in her chest showed that speaking was excruciatingly painful._

"_S…ss…so..c...cc..old"_

* * *

Kakashi stood staring into the now sleeping face of the girl in his arms as the painful memory played before his eyes. He had seen so many horrible things in his life as a shinobi, but it was the memory of the day he found Sakura that haunted him constantly. Whenever he let his guard down he found himself reliving it all over again; in his dreams, in the quiet moment of the morning as he stood before the memorial stone. It wasn't just another painful curse he carried with him. It was deeper and more profound. Whenever he saw her he felt the pain arching through his body as the memories threatened to take over. The guilt had manifested itself into a deep wound that would scab over only to be ripped open again in an instant. _'It's all my fault….'_

And the sudden realization that he wasn't the only one still suffering was terrifying. He had wanted to believe that she would be fine. She had walked to the brink of death and been pulled back again, given a second chance. She had friends and loved one's to surround her and help her recover from the terrible trauma of what she had experienced. Sakura had always been resilient. He had trusted her to them, to heal and fix her.

However, it was now painfully obvious to Kakashi that though her physical wounds were long ago healed, so much damage still remained.

Kakashi cursed himself for being so powerless as he leapt into the dark night, angry and sad that he was back here again.

He was carrying this broken little thing in his arms once more.


	3. Ch 3: Entropy

**Diclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

**_Beautiful Disaster_**

**Chapter 3: Entropy**

* * *

_Scraping metal against solid stone rang nauseatingly in her ears. Something was being dragged along the stone floor outside her cell and the terrible scraping was making bile rise up in her throat. The sound contained a sure promise of pain. The echoes reverberating around the empty stone room seemed to be mocking her, screaming "They're coming to get you little kunoichi."_

_God, please let it just stop. _

_She couldn't see what it was, because she couldn't move her body to look. But this is how it always started. They were experts at the mindfuck. Yet she could easily tell they followed a very strict equation. Introduce a little stimulus teasingly, allowing the anxiety and fear build up. Then use that stimulus to cause pain, stop for a while, then inflict more extreme pain. Yesterday it had been water. She had been awoken by being dragged roughly across the floor and having her head forcefully plunged underwater. Then as the 'session' had continued she had been held under water for continuously longer periods of time, until she eventually passed out. Then she had been awoken to go through it all again. She had also had the pleasure of experiencing the same method with senbon, hot pokers, kunai, glass, electricity, and the surprisingly horrible sandpaper. Well at least they were predictable. But she wondered what they would do when they ran out of ideas. That is if those sadistic bastards ever ran out of ideas. They seemed quite content to drag this out for as long as possible, always ordering her wounds to be healed just enough to keep her alive for next session. She couldn't help but wonder when they would kill her._

_And now someone was stalking around outside her cell teasing her with the promise of what sounded like a large and sharp steel object. But she couldn't quite turn to look. She had been dumped unceremoniously on the floor after yesterday's torture with her back to the bars and she hadn't been able to move her arms yet, much less lift her head. She had quickly learned the best way to deal with being in a state of constant pain was to remain as still as possible. Don't move, just breathe and wait for blissful unconsciousness or the chance to fight back. Though she knew fighting was pointless, the kunoichi in her couldn't help but hope that maybe, just maybe, one of the bastards would let his guard down around her still form and she would be able to take him out, cause him pain too. _

_The scraping sound ceased suddenly but was replaced by disturbingly loud rhythmic bangs, which probably meant he was running the object back and forth across the bars of her cell, trying more straightforwardly to get a rise out of her. But she was not a caged animal.. No, she wouldn't give into his provocation. She would just lie quietly and bide her time. _

_Suddenly a loud metallic snap followed by a creak and a rush of air signaled the cell door had been thrown open. _

"_Are you ready to have some more fun today, pretty little kunoichi," a low grating voice made her spine crawl. She could tell there were two of them by their footsteps and their contemptuous chuckles. _

_Suddenly a sharp pain in her back signaled she had been kicked in the kidneys. Sakura squeezed her eyes tight and bit back the painful gasp struggling to escape her throat. She hated to give them the pleasure she knew they got from her pain. _

"_Oi, you're a stubborn little bitch aren't you," one of the men whispered in her ear. His breath was wet and hot against her cheek and the sour smell made her want to gag._

'_Remember your training. Don't say anything, don't provoke them,' Sakura thought. She wanted nothing more than to scream expletives at them, wanted to tell the bastards what they could go do, but she had been taught better. No matter how satisfying it would be to momentarily voice her spite, the punishment would be exponentially worse. She had been taught just to stay quiet. Be silent. Don't break._

_Fingers ran deceivingly gently along her cheek. Sakura couldn't help but shrink away from the touch. That was the worst, when they would pretend to be kind. Because no matter how nice it seemed, it was not, it was just a precursor to the worst forms of torture. The absurdity of the relationship between pleasure and pain was constantly reinforced in this purgatory. The worst violations were always the ones that began with kindness. _

_Suddenly the hands laced into her hair and violently tugged upwards, dragging her up from lying on the ground to kneeling on her bruised and torn knees. She could feel her scalp stretching, her hair almost tearing from her head. The dense pain from the sudden movement shot through her joints. Her vision was washed over with red._

_The man standing behind her yanked her hair once more as if to emphasize his control. She cursed her eyes for automatically reacting, sending stinging tears to roll over her face. 'So much for not showing any weakness,' she bitterly thought._

"_Alright little kunoichi. Let's start from where we left off yesterday. Shall we." It wasn't a question. It was more like the promise of pain. _

"_What village sent you? What is your name?" The man in front asked her as he let a long and blunt metal dagger that had been resting on his shoulder fall towards the ground, the point resting dangerously in front of her knees. _

_Sakura noted the double questions and guessed he must be getting frustrated with her. Normally he followed a very strict protocol in his torture. Asking two questions at once was not efficient and could easily confuse a pain riddled mind and decrease the likelihood of getting the desired answers. _

_Sakura couldn't help but smirk at his unintentional show of weakness as she stared at his knees. _

"_Answer me" he snarled._

_She couldn't help herself. She knew it was idiotic and it would bring pain swifter and stronger than if she just remained quiet, but she just couldn't deny herself this little act of defiance. She needed more than anything to feel as though she still had some semblance of control._

"_Go fuck yourself."_

_The dagger in front of her was quickly raised and thrusted straight through her right shoulder with an angry grunt. The excruciating burning tore through her chest, down her arm, and up her neck and she couldn't suppress the tormented scream that fell from her lips along with drops of warm blood. For a moment she couldn't breathe, couldn't think as the waves ravaged her body, her nerves constantly firing and her brain flooded with chemical agony. Her screams echoed off the stone walls of the dungeon._

_The man behind her gasped angrily and tugged hard as he stepped back away from the blade jutting out from the back of her shoulder._

"_Oi! Watch what your doing. You almost got me with that!"_

"_Sorry" the other chuckled then bent down to catch Sakura's chin with the hand that wasn't holding the dagger. "So you still haven't learned your lesson little kunoichi? Well, we can fix that."_

_Ever so slowly he began pulling back on the impaling dagger. The bluntness of the worn edges creating excruciating friction and making her back arch with pain. This was a tool that got plenty of use._

_Sakura resisted the urge to scream as the blade was pulled from her shoulder, inch by torturous inch. She could feel the edges of her consciousness go blurry and prayed that unconsciousness would take her soon. She knew it was too much to hope for death. The bastards knew enough not to give her a fatal wound, and one of them knew how to heal her enough to keep her alive. But the deep dark numbness of unconciousness was the perfect escape for her. 'Just wait. Don't break' she screamed in her head, as desperation threatened to take over._

_The edge of the dagger was pulled all the way out and the man behind pushed her hard. As the ground rose up towards her, Sakura tried to move her arms to catch herself but found she was unable to control her unresponsive limbs. The stone floor crashed into her face and chest and knocked the air from her struggling lungs. _

"_Hmm," a smooth chuckle pierced the stale air and found its way to her pounding ears. _

_'Oh, freakin great, another one,' she thought to herself foggily._

"_Is this the one you captured last month? "the voice asked. It was strangely gentile and polite and it occurred to Sakura how much it seemed out of place._

"_Hai,"one of her torturers answered nervously. "But we haven't been able to get any information from her yet sir."_

"_Oh? Is that so?" the voice turned up at the end to convey amusement._

_Sakura heard the familiar click and creak of the cell's door being opened, then confident footsteps approaching her prone form. She tried to make out the man's face but her vision was thickly clouded and she was on the edge of passing out from pain and blood loss. _

"_Umm… yes sir" the torturer answered back hesitatingly. "We have been trying to get her name and village, but she's pretty damn stubborn."_

_The smooth chuckle reverberated off the walls again as feet came to a stop directly in front of Sakura's face._

"_Well hello there Haruno Sakura from Hidden Leaf. Its been quite a while," the new man addressed her politely as he looked down at her._

'_Oh shit! He knows who I am? How could he…' Her mind screamed as Sakura jerked her head and tried to focus on the blurry face above her. _

_The man leaned in closer, sensing her inability to see who he was and his face suddenly snapped into focus. _

"_NO!" a desperate gasp flew from her mouth as Sakura immediately tried to recoil away from the man. 'God no, not him' her mind rang out in panic. _

_The chuckle sounded again, this time much more loud and sickening. "Well Sakura-san, it's lovely to see you again too."_

"_Sir?" one of the men questioned uncertainly._

"_Continue the interrogation. Now that you know her name and hidden village find out how much she knows about us. This little one was the Hokage's apprentice, so we should be able to get plenty of information out of her."_

"_Hai."_

"_Please make sure you heal her, so she doesn't die. She's much too valuable."_

"_Yes, sir."_

_A short silence signaled that the man was staring thoughtfully down at her. "And don't touch this one. I'd like to save this cherry blossom for myself," he chuckled as he ran a finger over her check and down her neck._

_Sakura heard his words, but was barely able to register the meaning as the pain and panic faded and her world turned to black. _

* * *

Sakura woke suddenly from the dark deep sleep she had been trapped in. Her eyes instictively remained closed, her breath regulated and steady. She had learned very quickly not to give any physical signals that she had awoken. If they knew she was awake, it would just start all over sooner. No, it was better to just lie still until they forced her to move, though that force always involved a great deal of pain which would not subsist until she once again fell into the darkness of sleep or unconsciousness. So Sakura clung to the still moments between waking and torture and guarded them fervently. Anything to prolong the simple pleasure of being awake without being subjected to constant pain. 

Sakura quickly evaluated her surroundings as much as she could without moving. She could tell she was lying in a bed and had a soft pillow under head. She didn't feel any immediate pain in her still body, nor was she cold or wet or noticeably bound. She felt warm and safe. An unfamiliar masculine smell filled her nose and wasn't entirely unpleasant. Actually in truth, the warmth and smell and soft feel of the sheets were thoroughly pleasant. But Sakura knew very well that pleasure could be just as much of a weapon as pain. Feelings of safety and comfort could easily be exploited and turned back on someone. The newness and nonthreatening nature of the surroundings made Sakura feel very wary because she had learned the hard way not to be fooled easily into thinking she was safe.

And of course another factor that made Sakura feel very nervous was the obvious presence of another person. She could hear the soft sound of slow steady breathing close to her ear. The breaths tickled her cheek and a strong arm was wrapped protectively around her waist. She could tell it was a man and his arm felt well muscled so he was possibly very strong.

Her breath hitched in her throat and her eyes squinted tighter, betraying her consciousness when the man sighed and tightened his grip on her waist. She had to immobilize him and get away as quickly as possible. The only problem was that she wasn't sure if there were others present in the room. If there were, they either hadn't noticed her altered breathing or were choosing not to act yet. But she could never tell what was going to happen with them, or rather with _him. He_ seemed to love toying with her head, making her believe she was alone when she was being watched, exploiting her by giving her extreme pleasure to replace it by the most terrible pain. But nonetheless, she had to do something. Everything indicated that escape was possible and she didn't want to lay there and wait for the man with his arm around her to wake up again and do the inevitable.

She closed her eyes and tried to draw chakra to her hands and shins. She was happily surprised to discover that they hadn't inhibited it with poison this time. But it did seem strange. _He _never left her unbound without having her chakra either inhibited or drained. Her monstrous strength had been well known throughout the shinobi world, and _he _was very careful about not giving her a chance to use it for escape. But right now she was able to access her chakra completely and something felt off. Maybe its what they wanted her to do. Maybe it was just a trap. Maybe once she moved to attack _he _would be there to take her once again and do those horrible things to her, to take her hope and crush it again for his own sick pleasure.

But she had to do something. If anything, the least she could do would be to take out the man lying next to her. Squeeze the life out of him for doing what she had no memory, but no doubt, he had done to her the previous night.

The chakra drawn and focused in the areas necessary, Sakura threw her eyes open and deftly rolled over his sleeping body to pin the man down to the bed. She straddled his waist and used the chakra in her legs to trap his torso against the bed. Her hands quickly flew to his neck and began to squeeze furiously trying to crush his windpipe. Her hair around her face and the wild look in her eye made her look ferocious and mad.

She ground her teeth and focused on squeezing the life out of the man beneath her. She didn't look into his face. She never looked into their faces. They weren't humans to her and to look into the eyes of the person doing the things that they did to her only made her more frightened. If she pretended they were monsters and not people then she didn't feel so alone and hopeless. None of them noticed except _him_, then _he _would find some way to use this against her, to force her to look into his eyes while he raped her or carved long slashes into her skin or told her about the way he had killed her precious people with his bare hands. But right now it was best to just dispatch with this particular man's life as quickly as possible and then move onto the next. Sakura could feel the man trying to buck his hips underneath her. She squeezed her legs together, trying to crush his hips with her thighs. Wet choking sounds were coming from his mouth as he tried in vain to draw in breath.

Suddenly a hand flew up to wrap around the wrist of the hands holding man's throat and attempted to pry her fingers away. But she didn't let up, struggle as he would, she was resolved and he was going to die.

And then another hand slowly rose up and cupped her cheek, gently stroking away tears she didn't know had been falling with the rough pad of his thumb.

The gentleness made her stop in shock. Her eyes shot open and darted onto the face of the man beneath her. They widened in disbelief as she looked into the mismatched eyes and masked face of Kakashi, pleadingly willing her to stop.

Sakura gasped and threw herself backwards off him and the bed. She scurried backwards across the room until her back slammed against the opposite wall.

Kakashi shot up in the bed and coughed violently, attempting to fill his deprived lungs with air. She watched his chest and back heave, shocked and confused. _'Kakashi. What…..'_ And then suddenly the memory of the previous night found her. She remembered the fight in the alleyway, the spiteful words thrown back and forth between the men. The words 'she's different' and 'damaged goods' rang in her ears and suddenly she felt sick to her stomach.

Kakashi looked at the frightened girl across the room. He could tell she was shocked, that she didn't know where she was. He wished his damned lungs would stop seizing up on him so he could tell her that everything was fine.

How had he let this happen in the first place? Why had he let his guard down? Something about the presence of Sakura made him behave so out of character. Last night he had brought her home, to his home! Though he wasn't actually sure where she lived he knew he probably could have taken her to Nauto's. But for some reason he wanted to take care of her himself. And when he had layed her in his bed, her body looked so weak and frail that he couldn't fight the need to hold her and soothe away the cold with his arms wrapped around her soft form. Maybe he was more intoxicated than he thought lost night. But it had felt so nice to fall asleep with her in his arms. He felt like he was finally protecting her, finally affecting her in a way that didn't cause pain or disappointment. But judging from her reaction, he realized that he was once again very wrong.

They were both paying for his stupidity now. His windpipe had almost been crushed by her chakra enhanced grip. She had obviously woken up thinking that she was in a dangerous place, that she had to fight him to get away. And now she was standing there across the room, surprise and anger reading across her tear moistened face.

"Sakura…." He reached out his hand towards her, not quite sure if he wanted her to come closer or to just stay put.

In an instant her face hardened, turned into a stoic mask. She looked at him for a moment with an expression in her eyes he could not read. The tension in the room felt stifling.

And the next moment she was throwing open the window and leaping out into the morning. Leaving Kakashi to stare at the empty spot where she had just stood.

She was gone.


	4. Ch 4: Temptation and Comfort

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

**_Beautiful Disaster_**

**Chapter 4: Temptation and Comfort**

* * *

The pink haired kunoichi was nothing more than a blur as she raced through the bitterly cold dawn air. The only trace she left behind her was a slight shifting in the air and the occasional small footprint in the freshly fallen snow resting on each building's rooftop. That was how Sakura always preferred to travel; fast, nondescript, and hidden. Using the streets meant that she would have to see people and could be forced into undesired interactions. But when she traveled along the roof tops, she could avoid others, for the most part. And even when she came across another shinobi using the same method of travel, it was understood by both parties that each desired to avoid others or had somewhere too important to be to stop and worry about socialization.

But this morning, as she raced through the air at a breakneck speed, Sakura felt confident that she wouldn't come across anyone. The sun wasn't even up yet, and the freezing temperature insured that most of the villagers remained in the warm confines of their own homes.

This made Sakura feel a little grateful. She always liked to be left alone and unseen. But this morning in particular she was most definitely in the mood to be left alone as her mind tried to piece together exactly what the hell had happened the previous night.

It truly was all a little too much too handle. And the freezing air biting at her skin and the wicked pounding in her temples from a much deserved hangover were not making anything easier.

Shivering a little more severely as her thoughts turned to the cold, she wrapped her arms around herself as she leaped across an empty expanse to the rooftop of the next building. She absentmindedly wished she had thought to grab her jacket before she had escaped out of Kakashi's window.

_Kakashi_

Just thinking his name made unfamiliar feelings rise up in her belly. Sakura realized that there were several different layers to explore when it came to the uncomfortable feelings she had about Kakashi and what had happened the previous night.

'_Shit, I almost slept with Genma,' _she internally berated herself. Though there was no question that Genma was very attractive and his prowess in the bedroom was well known by all kunoichi. Yet, Sakura was not the type of woman that felt comfortable with any form of casual sexual interaction. What had happened with Kakashi just minutes prior had proven why sleeping around was a dangerous activity when it came to her.

_'God, I almost killed Kakash__i_Sakura wasn't quite sure how she felt about this. On one level she felt he probably would have really deserved it. _'I mean seriously, what in the H__ell __was he__ thinking spooning with me…..'_ she frustratingly thought. But as she thought back to the feeling of his warm arm wrapped protectively around her waist, his unique smell and his soft breath tickling her cheek, she felt an odd feeling beginning to tug at her mind. Why had it felt so strangely pleasurable to wake up in Kakashi's arms?

But then again she had tried to kill him…. And seriously, he would have deserved it too….

'_How did I even end up in his bed in the first place?'_ This question bothered her the most.

Sakura remembered the confrontation between Genma and Kakashi. She would never forget the hurtful words that they had tossed back and forth.

_"Damaged goods…."_

Understandably, she was still stinging terribly from their words.

But at a certain point it all became hazy and eventually faded to nothingness. Sakura knew she had been inebriated. Obviously she wouldn't have ended up almost having sex with Genma in a back alley if she was not excessively drunk. But her intuition told her it wasn't just the alcohol affecting her memory. Naruto had told her about the despondent states she would lapse into when she first came back and something had upset her greatly. She had a feeling that last night she had been one of those episodes.

Of course during her months of rehabilitation Ibiki had warned her about reoccurring episodes that could occur with post traumatic stress disorder. And as a medic she was more than a little familiar of the specifics. But it just didn't sit well with her that two years later she was still having the same issues. And especially since it had happened twice in a twenty four hour period.

Sakura hoped that news of her relapse wouldn't make it back to Tsunade. She really couldn't bear to be taken off the active duty roster again since she had so recently been returned to full duty status. It had taken a long time to trick those who mattered into thinking that she was completely back to normal. And since Sakura's life now revolved around work and missions, she wouldn't know what to do if they heard about the events of last night and this morning and made her go through all that damned tricky psychological testing again. But then again, it was highly unlikely that either Genma or Kakashi would report her because that would involve incriminating themselves too. Both men knew better than to get on Tsunade's bad side when it came to her beloved apprentice.

_'God I hope she doesn't find out,' _Sakura worried. Work was all Sakura had, her only way to keep the demons at bay and distracting herself. Having that taken away again would leave her feeling devastatingly vulnerable.

Sakura couldn't help but wonder why she wasn't able to move forward after two years. Last night she had sat in a bar all alone dwelling in the darkness of her past, celebrating the anniversary of her return from the dead. Maybe it wasn't a surprise that the evening had ended up the way it did. But why did she still feel like she was constantly carrying a weight around her neck? As much as she wore the mask of being fine, she knew that all that was left inside was the shattered pieces of the girl she used to be. It was evident to those closest to her too. She saw the pained way Naruto and Ino would watch her, the way they smiled back sadly when she wore the smile that never quite reached her eyes. She knew they all wanted to know where the old Sakura was and when she would come back to them. What was holding her back so much?

Sakura drew to a sudden stop as she reached the roof of her building. She looked out across the expanse of Konoha as the sun peeked over the leafless tree filled horizon and illuminated the still sleeping town. The entire twenty minute journey from Kakashi's apartment had flown past because she was so engrossed in her thoughts. But Sakura knew she wasn't ready to escape the cold for the warmth of her apartment. She could sense what was waiting for her inside and felt there was still an unanswered question she needed to examine before she was ready to deal with anything else.

Why was the past still affecting her so much? Why couldn't she escape it?

The answer to these questions thoroughly frightened Sakura. It had to have something to do with _him_, the fact that he was still out there. She had a feeling she could never move on knowing he was still alive, knowing he still had the pleasure of breathing air. Naruto had promised to kill him, had sworn a personal vendetta. Tsunade had at first too, promising her all the available resources of Konoha would be committed to finding and eliminating him.

But recently he had become much more of a threat. His power was increasing exponentially. And after losing two units of ANBU in separate confrontations with him, Tsunade and the village council had issued a retreat on site order. He was just much too dangerous to be dealt with by regular shinobi.

Sakura respected this, she didn't want others to lose their lives for her personal vengeance. But, the fact remained that he was still out there and still posed a very real threat. Sakura was haunted by the feeling that one day he would come for her because he still had unfinished business with her. She knew that his obsession with breaking her was not something that he would easily let go.

Sakura knew that the since of dread she lived with every day was well justified.

* * *

_Sakura was woken hastily and dragged out of her cell by her two usual torturers, one holding each arm. She wished she had the strength to pull her feet under her and stand on her own __in order__ to preserve some of her dignity. But they hadn't fed her in over __ten__ days, from what she could keep track, and she had absolutely no strength left in her already terrorized body. Even the jostling of being dragged down the dark stone hallway was causing waves of __nausea__ and dizziness __to __wash over her, so she could do nothing but hang her head and try not to throw up the bil__e rising from her empty stomach as she listened to their footsteps echo off the cold stone walls._

_Suddenly her captors turned and pulled her through a set of large wooden doors into a large bright__ly lit__ room. Sakura opened her eyes to see where she had been taken and found she was in what appeared to be a formal __dinning__ room. The brightness and warmth contrasted so vividly with the dark cell that she had been kept in for the past few months that it made __her__ feel entirely overwhelmed. She was being dragged across the lushly __carpeted__ floor towards a long and heavy wooden __dining__ table. It must have been large enough to seat twenty people comfortably. _

_But it was what was on the table that made Sakura feel even __more dizzy__. The entire thing was filled with food. From bowls overflowing with luscious fruits, to wracks of meat and long loaves of bread, fillets of steaming fish, a__nd __carafes of aromatic soup__, the entire table was covered with enough food to feed a __small army__ of missing __nin__. Her mouth instantly started watering as the delicious aromas met her nose. The __abundance__ of food was at once thrilling and disgusting to her starved psyche. Even when they had fed her in her cell, it had mostly consisted of bread and some sort of __gruel__. But now she was here being roughly pushed into the chair at the head of this table, the promise of a feast was too much for her mind to grasp as she looked down the table warily. All the conflicting feelings were leaving her __thoroughly__ confused. _

_"Leave us," the voice that Sakura dreaded called from the doorway. Sakura turned her head to see the man she hated more than anybody in the world slowly saunter into the room through the large doorway._

_"Good evening Sakura-san. I'm so glad you could join me for dinner," he said politely as he took a seat at the other end of the long table. _

_"I didn't have a choice you bastard," she hissed at him. She hated his politeness. How this man could have __impeccable__ manners when he did the things he did was a mystery she often fixated on when she was conscious and not being tortured. But then she would always get angry when she realized she was __wasting__ her thoughts on the monster._

_"Well, that's not very polite now is it? And I went through all this trouble to have this lovely meal prepared for you," he sighed as he reached out and flicked his napkin open before delicately placing it in his lap. "I hope you haven't spoiled your appetite," he said in an amused voice accompanied with a smirk._

_"Go to hell. I'm not giving you information for food," she glared at him, trying with all her focus to keep her eyes from longingly averting to the food steaming on the table in front of her. _

_Tsk __tsk__. Do you really think so little of me Sakura-san?" he asked with a raised eyebrow and mock pout as he reached out and plucked a large red apple out of a bowl. __"As if I would need to stoop to bribery to get information from the like__s__ of you."_

_"Well then what the hell do you want?" she scathingly asked, trying but failing to not watch as he brought the juicy apple up towards his partially opened mouth. Right before he bit into it he stopped and leveled a __firm__ gaze on her._

_"Hmmm" he chuckled softly and rose up from his chair to walk towards her, "what do I want?"_

_Seeing that he was coming towards her, __Sakura quickly scanned the table in front of her for any utensils she could use as a weapon. Just __down the table, __out of arms reach there was a large roast with a carving knife resting on the plate. But she knew she wouldn't be able to reach it, it was just too far away and she was too weak. Even sitting upright in the chair was p__roving to be a strenuous activ__ity and had her heart beating quickly. __So all she was able to do was stare dejectedly at her only hope of killing the man quickly approaching her. _

_As he passed the roast, the man reached out and casually grabbed the carving knife with his free hand. __He flicked his wrist a little and __lazily__ brandished it about as if enjoying the light reflecting off the shiny blade. Sakura watched the glint too and felt the dread she had become so familiar with return. She knew __that the sadistic bastard was messing with her, but she couldn't help but feel the fear he always caused rise up in her. _

_"What do I want?" he asked again as he stepped up beside her chair. His tone had turned more serious now and he was giving off very dangerous energy. _

_He leaned in closely towards the still sitting __kunoichi__ as she visibly stiffened at his close proximity, her hands tightly gripping the arms of the chair. She wanted nothing more than to fight, to smash his pretentious face in with her chakra laden fist, but she knew better by now. __He would be expecting her to do something and was more than prepared to deal with her. __And besides, they had insured she couldn't draw chakra by pouring a bitter poison down her throat each time they entered her cell. _

_S__itting still became increasingly more difficult for __Sakura __as he leaned close enough to tickle her ear with his damp breath. She could hear him inhale, as if taking in her scent before he whispered against her ear "I'll tell you what it is that I want__ little cherry blossom_

_She had had enough. Sakura was about to draw her __neck__ to the side and attempt to smash his face with the side of her head, but she was suddenly being pushed __backwards__ along with her chair and looking forward at the man. He was __now __perched on the table in front of her, one of his legs bent casually at the knee and his foot resting on the cushion__ of her chair between her legs, effectively caging her in and making her feel violated at the same time. _

_"You see S__akura-san, it's really simple enough," he smiled at her as he brought the apple up to his mouth. "What I want __is__ you." He smirked before opening his mouth and taking a large slow bight of the apple, chewing as he stared down at her thoughtfully. _

_She couldn't help it. She watched the juice rolling down his chin with something akin to fascination. It had really been forever since she was given anything fresh to eat and the delicious smell and the act of watching him eat was making her mouth water. She could imagine the taste rushing over her tongue, the tactile feel of the apple in her mouth, the soothing act of chewing and swallowing, the wonderful feeling of something other than emptiness in her stomach. _

_"I don't know what you mean," she hissed, attention still riveted on his mouth._

_"Really Sakura-san__ I thought you were supposed to be smart," he sighed as he brought the back of his hand up to wipe off his mouth and chin. _

_Sakura's eyes darted to the carving knife still held lazily in his other hand. __The threat was more than clear, __so she__ choose to be safe and not say anything. He watched her hesitation and rewarded it with his slow chuckle._

_"Ah, maybe you do understand then?" he smiled and leaned forward, bringing his hands to the front as if __presenting gifts__. "Right now Sakura-san, our relationship can be defined figuratively in terms of this knife" he said as he__ swiftly__ brought it forward to touch the skin of her neck, __dragging__ the point down along the curve to stop at the jugular artery. __"And and much as I hate to hurt you, you see__ your behavior __really leaves me with no other choice" he explained, emphasizing the final word by pushing the point just far enough into her skin to draw blood. _

_She flinched more at the deadly positioning of the knife than the pain of it cutting slightly into her skin. She didn't dare move an inch for fear of him slicing into her neck and spilling her life out. _

_"But I have decided that there is another choice for you and I__" his tone lightened considerably, yet he still left the knife where it was. __He brought the other hand up in between both of them and looked in mock thoughtfulness upon the apple. _

_After a pregnant__ pause he turned to Sakura__. "This whole experience could be much more pleasurable for both of us, don't you think?"_

_Sakura said nothing, because nothing needed to be said._

_I, being in complete control of this __facility and these__ men, __can give you everything you need. The food on this table, a nice soft bed, new clothes, any of the comforts your heart desires.__" His voice was pretentious as he spoke down at her. __You__ see__, Sakura-san you must recognize the fact that__ you__r__e__ never __going to escape from here__. You already know that Konoha has given up on you, they even carved your name into that pretty little memorial."_

_Sakura felt unwanted tears well in her eyes. She hated him so much for saying those things, but she couldn't help but think it may be true. It had been so long and no one had come. It was hard to believe that Konoha had abandoned her. But day by day she found herself struggling to keep faith. She had started wondering why she even stayed alive anymore. This wasn't any type of life. There was nothing but pain and memories that haunted her heart. She could never betray her beloved village, but she was starting to wonder if they had betrayed her. How could they give up on her. Kakashi, Naruto, Tsunade-shisou..._

_Hot tears started to pour down her bruised cheeks._

_The man smirked at her. He loved messing with her head. It gave him the most perverse sense of pleasure watching her cry._

_Sakura gasped in a deep breath as he leaned forward and brought his face level with hers. She needed to move, needed to flee. She couldn't let this bastard see her break anymore. But he pushed the tip of the knife further into her skin as he brought his lips to hover over hers. Quick breaths rushed in and out of her mouth as she watched him with fear. _

_"Your so beautiful when you cry Sakura-san," he whispered before turning his attention to her tears. Sickeningly slowly he ran his lips over her cheeks, darting his tongue out to lap up the salty drops. "Your tears are so sweet, cherry blossom."_

_Sakura wanted to cry out, wanted to scream at the top of her lungs until it all stopped but she couldn't find her voice, couldn't move an inch._

_She could smell the sweet tang of apple on his lips and tongue as they painfully rubbed over the tender flesh of her cheeks. He then turned his attention to her jaw, roughly biting and licking up along it until he reached her ear. "Cry for me cherry blossom," he huskily ordered. The knife was pushed even further into her skin and she could now feel a steady trickle of hot blood running down her neck. The foot resting on the chair in between her thighs was brought up to invade her most intimate of areas. _

_"S-stop, please stop," she weakly begged. _

_"Hm?" he quickly pulled back and studied her face with an air of amusement. Making her beg was apparently also something he thoroughly enjoyed. _

_"Y-you said you wanted something from me," she continued, hoping to distract him from his current course. Somehow he had gotten around her emotional defenses and Sakura didn't think she currently had the strength to distance herself from what he undoubtedly desired to do. She needed a moment to gather herself, to refortify her walls and find her inner resilience._

_He continued to smirk at her, obviously knowing what she was attempting to do. _

_Nonetheless he continued."That's right Sakura-san. There is most definitely something I want from you. As I said before, you are going to die slowly and painfully on the floor of that cell. No one is coming to rescue you. Hell, no one in Konoha even gives a damn if your alive. __But__, if you align yourself with me, this ca__n __definitely __become a much, much __more pleasurable experience for both of us," his voice__ had turned__ slow and coaxing, and if she hadn't had a knife at her neck, Sakura would have felt a little less uneasy. But the bastard was making it more than clear __that his offer wasn't really an__ offer. It was a demand asserted with a little bit of enticement. And__ yet,__ the temptation was most __definitely__ effective. Sakura had no doubt that he wasn't __lying__ when he said she would never be able to leave. She knew she would die in this hell hole once they got what they wanted from her or __became__ tired of waiting. The thought of any form of comfort was undeniably appealing. The thought of not being in constant pain was even more so. _

_But though she was exhausted, beaten, starving, and unbelievably weak, Sakura was still a __kunoichi__. She knew this man wanted something from her that she would not be willing to give. And no matter how many meals she was given or how soft a bed, nothing could tempt her __to betray__ the people and the village she was willing to give her life to protect. _

_His familiar chuckle rang out again before he leveled a serious gaze upon her. _

_"You mean nothing to anybody. The information you have isn't something I couldn't find out through my own efforts. You could die right now and nobody would care at all. But, alas, I have grown a little bit fond of you. All you have to do,__ Sakura-san,__ is submit to my will and you can have anything your heart desires," he smiled as he leaned further forward and softly pressed his lips against hers. She could not move for fear of being sliced open so Sakura simply tensed her whole body and fought to contain control over the welling panic in her chest._

_"I promise you things will become very, very satisfying," h__e spoke against her cracked and bloody __lips, his breath mingling with hers, __before pulling back. Sakura's eyes widened at his actions. She was shocked by the discovery that what he really wanted from her had nothing to do with information. The sadistic bastard wanted her submission? It was almost unfathomable. All this time she had been submitted to the most gruesome forms of torture, she had been starved for over a week, and what he really wanted to gain was control? He could have taken her anytime he __wanted;__ in fact she had been surprised that he hadn't sooner. __But what he wanted was for her to give into __him,__ he wanted__ to completely break her will._

_He softly chuckled again before leaning back again__st the table__ and __openly__ staring__ hungrily__ at her. Ever so slowly he brought the bitten apple in his hand forward towards Sakura. Her __already uneven breaths hitched as she locked her eyes on his and saw a deadly glint shining through with __intense __arousal. _

_The apple was pressed __unyieldingly __against her lips, and the smell was intoxicating to her starved mind. Ever so slowly she opened her mouth. She watched as his eyes flicked of off hers to fixate on her open lips. She opened wider and settled her teeth onto the red skin of the fruit. The hand holding the knife to her throat pulled back a little as his focus shifted completely to her mouth and the apple. Sakura closed her eyes and slowly sunk her__ teeth deep into the flesh. The__ juice and taste washed over her parched tongue and she __reveled in the sensation of __flavor__ as she continued to bite down. She felt the knife completely fall away from her throat__ as her top teeth met the bottom and the apple was pulled back away from her __wit__h a crunching sound, __leaving a good chunk in her mouth. Steeling her resolve__ Sakura opened her eyes to look up into the smirking face of the man in front of her._

_"Good girl," he said, e__yes still fixed on her mouth as he leaned forward to kiss her__ again_

_Wanting nothing more in the world than to swallow the piece of apple resting on her tongue, Sakura waited with baited breath until his face was level with hers. _

_With all the defiance she could summon, and against her body's screaming protests, Sakura __fiercely__ spit__ into the man's smirking face, the piece of apple flying from her mouth and hitting him square in the nose before falling through empty space to the stone ground below._

_Fuck you__" she screamed as loud as she could manage. _

_Before she could even fill her lungs__ again with air,__ he had __reacted__ to her __actions__ by bringing the seemingly forgotten carving knife up into the air then __slicing __down through the top of her right thigh, and deep into the meat of her leg. _

_"I should cut your tongue out for that Sakura-san"__ he hissed as he pushed the blade further. Her shoulders hunched in pain as she could feel the blade scraping along the edge of her bone. Her vision blurred from the sudden blood loss and __the weakening__ coursing of adrenaline through her veins.__ She clenched her jaw tig__htly to keep from groaning, and __absent__ mindedly __noted that __s__he could still taste the apple on her tongue. Her mind began to become confused as she wondered how long it would be before they fed her again after her behavior. The darkness lingering on the __periphery__ of her vision began to __creep __further __inwards as __t__he __man in front of her __stood up off the table and looked __condescendingly__ down upon her. _

_"Your defiance frustrates me to no end Sakura-san. But that's all right. I think that I'm going to enjoy breaking you," he spoke down to the hunched over and bleeding woman, then turned on his heels and walked away. "You'll give me everything in th__e end,__ his voice had lost its polite tone, and now rang with threatening clarity. _

_"You may as well take it by force cause I'm sure as hell not giving you anything you fucking bastard," she screamed at the back of his head as he strolled nonchala__ntly __through__ the large doorway._

_Just as he was about to turn out of her site he turned and looked over his shoulder at her with a wicked smile plastered on his face. "__Oh, please don't doubt that I intend to. __Don't worry __little __cherry blossom. I'll be back for you later. I'll always __come__ back__ for you." _

* * *

_'He said he would always come back for me,' _Sakura thought as her mind returned to the present. Suddenly, the rooftop and the skyline of Konoha were swimming around her. The dark memories of the past, of _him¸_ were taking over. Sakura felt like she was drowning, like she couldn't find air.

_'Oh, God.__ He's still out there.'_

She tried so hard not to think of him, but on a subconscious level the thought was always present. As was the profound fear that accompanied it. Just the thought of his face or the mention of his name elicited overwhelming panic in her body. She was ashamed. She was a kunoichi, the apprentice of the Hokage, and yet, one singular man could cause her so much terror. But her shame was not strong enough to dim her fear. After six months of living in his hell, she was conditioned to be hindered to a trembling mess at the mere thought of him. And Sakura hated herself for it. And she hated him for it.

But the fact remained, he was still out there. And she knew he would come for her one day. He had promised that he would always come back for her.

She had to live her life in preparation for this. Sure, she trained and did her best to become stronger, but she never really felt like she could become strong enough. One day they would cross paths again and she would be helpless, just like she had been two years ago.

But even if he wasn't still alive, how feasible would it be to assume she could just…. move on? How can a person be expected to move forward after the events in their past had left them so thoroughly traumatized?

How could she be expected to find happiness when she spent every still moment trying to fight to live in the present, and not the disaster of her past?

Sakura let these thoughts run dangerously loose through her head as she struggled to breathe. She focused on the tingling in her fingers and the steam puffing out in front of her as her panic dissipated and her breathing finally began to slow to a manageable pace.

Though she was far from collected, she decided it was time to go and face what was waiting for her in the apartment.

But first, Sakura centered herself by finding and embracing the feeling of self loathing that was burned into her mind. It was a feeling that rested in her belly and felt like a heavy weight. This was an all too familiar process. Next would come the familiar comfort of cold numbness that spread out from her chest and into her throat. This is how she survived. Pushing all feelings away, denying the memories of the past, reverting to the shell of the girl she used to be. Because it's impossible to feel just happiness without letting the other feelings in too . So she made herself numb to everything instead.

Sakura flipped down off the ledge of the roof and through her unlocked bedroom window. Landing in a crouch on the floor, she stood up to look into the deep blue eyes of Naruto, sitting across the room at the foot of her bed.

"I was wondering when you were going to come down," he said with a smile that quickly faded. He slowly stood up, staring at her firmly. In a quiet yet roughly textured voice he asked "Sakura-chan, where have you been?"

She didn't respond because she couldn't. Sakura lowered her eyes from Naruto's big blue ones filled with worry, and looked at the floor in front of her feet. He wasn't surprised. He was used to her silence.

Stepping towards her he quietly continued. "I was worried, Sakura." She hung her head a little lower but still said nothing.

Now Naruto was directly in front of her. He reached out his large hands and rested them lovingly on her shoulders.

"Sakura….have you been crying?" he asked gently. Strong arms swiftly encircled her and pulled her tightly into an embrace. She leaned her forehead onto his chest and breathed in the familiar smell, but her arms still hung limply at her side, not able to return his embrace. Naruto sighed and rested his cheek on the top of her head.

"It's alright Sakura-chan. You don't have to say anything."

And she knew she didn't. That was just the way things were with Naruto. He was always there for her, waiting to make sure she was alright. Sakura often wondered why he even bothered. She had nothing to give him. But, he never asked for anything anyways. All he wanted was for her to allow him to be there. And so she did. She didn't understand it and she was sure he didn't either, but Naruto needed to be there for her in the same way she needed him. And so that's how it remained.

Squeezing her tightly with his strong muscular arms, Naruto gently kissed the top of her head. "You should take a shower, then we'll lay down. Ok?" he said releasing her from his embrace to walk into her bathroom and turn on the water as hot as possible before walking back towards her.

She finally met his gaze with wide green eyes as he came to a stop directly in front of her. "Come here," he said as he gently grabbed her chin and pulled her face closer to his. She did not close her eyes, but kept her gaze locked with his big blue orbs as their lips drew closer and closer.

Naruto tenderly brushed her bottom lip with a kiss. His hand under her chin moved to mirror his other now resting on the side of her neck. The kiss was so soft, if her eyes had been closed she may not have noticed it. Eyes still locked with hers Naruto pulled back only to lean forward to kiss her more firmly against the corner of her mouth.

"Your cold," he whispered and drew her into his arms once again. She let her eyes slowly close as she relaxed into his embrace. He kissed each of her eyelids with marked gentleness, and then brought his lips to rest on the center of her forehead. Sakura sighed at his tenderness.

They stood like that for a moment, just content with the silence and physical touch.

Naruto breathed in deeply as his arms traveled down her back and his fingers hooked under the hem of her shirt. He pulled it up and Sakura raised her arms obediently to help him remove it. After throwing it on the ground, he kissed her again, this time on her right temple as his large hands smoothed over her back until they came to her bra and expertly unhooked it. His hands ghosted up and over her shoulders and down her arms, pulling her bra off with them.

He looked at her deeply in the eyes and leaned forward to kiss the tip of her nose before going back to his work. A hand traveled to her left hip and easily released the buckle of her skirt and let it fall to the ground at her feet. He then kneeled on one knee and her arms came forward to rest on his shoulders as he lifted her leg and propped her foot up on his knee. He carefully unclipped the buckles of her shin guard running along the back of her calf. It fell to the ground with a soft thud. One hand slid to right below her knee and held her leg steady as the other pulled her boot off and dropped it to the ground to join the rest of her clothing.

Sakura shifted to the other leg and watched as Naruto removed the other boot and shin guard. He lifted her leg off of his knee and she set it on the ground and she removed her hands from his shoulders before he stood up again. Their eyes met again and Sakura looked up into his and searched for any signs of apprehension or arousal. She found none. He smiled slightly at her searching gaze then leaned in to kiss her cheek gently as his hands found her hips and his fingers hooked into the waist of her shorts. He pulled down carefully and bowed forward to guide them down over her hips until he released them above her knees to fall down her long legs towards the floor.

Sakura now stood in front of Naruto completely naked except for a pair of white cotton panties, but his gaze did not leave her eyes. He wrapped one arm around her waist and pulled her firmly into him as the other found the side of her neck, his thumb running in circles over her cheek. Her bared chest was pressed into his clothed one and his hands were touching nothing but soft naked skin.

She looked up into his face, not knowing where this could all be going. He smiled softly down at her and his thumb found its way from her cheek to run across her bottom lip. He stared at her for a moment with a look of adoration mixed with sadness. Sakura could do nothing but watch his face and wait for whatever came next. They were in familiar yet prohibited territory and she was not sure what was about to happen.

Naruto's smile suddenly widened and he gave her an adorable wink. "You're a big girl now, Sakura-chan, so I think I'll let you take care of the rest of your clothes yourself," he said teasingly as his eyes quickly flicked downwards to her panties and then back up.

She rolled her eyes at his insufferable goofiness. Naruto stepped back from her and the hand that had been resting on her back found her hand. "But you know, on second thought, it's not like I haven't seen it all before," he said with another silly wink.

Sakura raised her eyebrow and looked at him pointedly. As if reading her mind Naruto suddenly became flustered. "Ha-ha. Well, I know, I know, that's…..umm….that's in the past now, right? Hehehe." His nervous laugh filled the room for a moment, before Naruto was able to look back at Sakura and regain his composure.

He looked at her and his eyes softened again. "Come on ," he whispered as he lifted her hand up to place a tender kiss on the back before pulling her towards the bathroom.

"Why?" she asked inaudibly quiet as she followed her arm behind him. But he was a shinobi with highly sharpened senses, so her soft words did not escape his notice. It was a simple question, but there was so much left unsaid, yet so much that they both just understood embodied in it.

'_Why are you here?_

_Why do you take care of me?_

_Why do I let you so close yet still push you away? _

_Why are you ok with this?'_

It was the first thing she had said to him since arriving.

He stopped and turned back to her, still holding her hand in his. The look on his face was full of poignant sincerity.

"Because I love you Sakura-chan."

She knew this, but it had so much power when he said it out loud.

"And I hope you know that I'll always be here for you."

She did.

And then he flashed her a bright and dazzling smile that only Naruto was capable of. "And you looked like you could use a little affection," he teased. "Now get your butt in there before you run out of hot water."

Sakura sighed and shook her head slightly before slipping off her panties and stepping into the shower. It was uncomfortably hot, but that's how she liked it. The water burning over her ivory skin till she was red and sensitive, the pain almost comforting because it was under her control.

She shook her head and sighed as she replayed the scene that just took place in her bedroom. Her mind was exhausted from the events of last night and this morning, and now she had to stand there and wonder about the nature of her and Naruto's relationship too?

Naruto knew her so well. Their familiar little routine was almost always the same. She would come home in some distressed and despondent state, maybe after a hard day at the hospital or some difficult mission, and he would be there waiting for her, waiting to take care of her. Though she didn't always end up naked in front of him, especially not in the recent past, he was always there to soothe her and hold her as she fell asleep. How he knew when she would need him was a mystery, but it seemed that Naruto had some kind of sixth sense when it came to his friends.

And he never asked her for an explanation. They both knew he couldn't understand even if she had been willing to give one. And she wasn't willing to hurt him in that way, to tell him the horrors she had experienced. She had already hurt him enough.

But though Sakura was not always able to talk to him, and though she was never able to open up to him, Naruto and her communicated despite the silence. Looks and touches and embraces were all they needed to understand each other. And Sakura was grateful for him even though she was not able to tell him.

Without Naruto, she would have been….. Well Naruto made her feel human, made her feel capable of trust and love and living in the present. Their brief encounters were probably the only reason she had remained partially sane over the past two years. And when she had first been brought back, it was Naruto's patience and his touch that made her comfortable with human contact again. But that had ended after seven months because they both knew it was love, but it wasn't the kind of love that Naruto needed or Sakura wanted. And since then their relationship had existed in a type of marginal place where physical affection was given and taken freely, but not in a sexual sense. But Sakura knew it was all bound to change soon. She wondered if Naruto realized it would have to change too.

It honestly worried Sakura a little. She was so used to Naruto's tenderness, it really kept her grounded. It always served to remind her that she needed human contact. It would have been so easy to simply push everybody away, but Naruto's touches insured that she remembered that type of life was not fulfilling. And though, the only person she had really allowed herself to be vulnerable and intimate with so far was Naruto, it was at least a start. Sakura was worried what would happen to her without him, as she could tell that time was quickly approaching.

Maybe that's why she had allowed herself to leave the bar with Genma last night. He had represented the promise of purely physical interaction. She had seen him as a means of escape.

But then for some reason Kakashi had stepped in …..

The question she had been ignoring pressed on to the forefront of her mind. She just couldn't understand why Kakashi had interfered. And it bothered her that it bothered her so much.

And it wasn't only that he had interfered, but he had obviously taken her home, to his home, and put her in his bed, and fell asleep with his arm around her. None of it made any sense.

Kakashi had made it clear a long time ago that he couldn't bear to be around her. Sakura knew when he looked at her he saw nothing but death. And Sakura understood, because when she looked in the mirror she saw the same thing.

But then again, why the hell was Kakashi holding her in the first place? Ever since she came back, or rather he brought her back, he had avoided her like she had the plague. His actions had made it more than clear that he couldn't stand to look at her. That he couldn't bear to see how screwed up she had become. She knew he found her disgusting. What had Genma called her? O yea "damaged goods." It was obvious that that's how Kakashi saw her. She had thought about this often enough over the past two years.

But, then why was he holding her…..

And, why couldn't she forget the feeling of his embrace?

Sakura flinched as she realized that the temperature of the water had turned ice cold. She reached out a shaking hand and turned it off before pulling back the shower curtain to meet Naruto waiting for her with an open towel in his hands. She stepped out and into his arms as he wrapped the towel securely around her.

"Come on. Let's get you in some dry clothes and then lay down for a little bit."

She nodded up at him and followed him out of the bathroom. She may not be able to be like this with him forever, but for now, finding blissfully numbing sleep in his protective arms was just enough.


	5. Ch 5: And it All Falls Down

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

_**Beautiful Disaster**_

**Chapter 5: And it all Falls Down**

* * *

Kakashi stood like a sentry at the same spot he visited every morning. It was bitterly cold and the sun had just barely breached the horizon, and ideally he would be in bed at this ungodly hour. But this morning, he had no doubt further sleep would elude him.

Hands in pockets and shoulders lazily slouching, his body language was deceptively calm. But on the inside Kakashi felt like a storm was raging. He kept replaying last night's fight over and over in his head. The past twenty four hours had seen some of his most ridiculous behavior ever. He had interfered in something that was none on his business, physically attacked one of his best friends, and taken home his unconscious former student to sleep with him in his bed. If not for the fact that the perpetrator was himself, he would have laughed at the absurdity of it all.

_'What the Hell was I __thinking._

None of it made any damned sense. At all.

Trying to understand his actions of the previous hours was like attempting to read a surrealist poem; there was no way in hell he was going to understand either and all he was able to take away from it were strange unfamiliar feelings.

Kakashi inwardly groaned and if it wouldn't have risked breaking his cool and uncaring exterior, he would have preceded to pull out his long gray hair before whacking his head against the nearest tree.

_'That doesn't even make any since! Nobody else is even here!' _he internally berated himself. But on the outside he let nothing escape except a small sigh.

He wondered how it was possible to fuck up so badly in such a short period of time.

It had nothing to do with Genma. If he thought honestly, his friend had deserved it. Well maybe not the first attack, but he sure as hell deserved the second. Kakashi hoped he was still sporting a severely busted lip the next time he saw him, which he also hoped wasn't too soon because he'd probably have a great deal of explaining to do and he had no idea what was going on in the first place.

Plus, he was still furious with Genma for several reasons and needed some time to cool off, lest he be tempted to repeat last night's beating. Genma had tried to screw Sakura in an alley behind a bar. _His Sakura_. The girl that they had both found that night two years ago in the woods, when she had almost died in his arms. The girl who they had failed to protect in the first place when their scouting camp was ambushed. The girl whose name was written right in front of him on the memorial stone.

'_Dammi__t Genma, she deserves better than that.'_

Kakashi stepped forward until he was an arm's length away from the hewn piece of polished stone. Reaching a gloved hand out, he gently ran his fingertips over the carved name he had found himself staring at almost every day for over two years. His fingers followed the gentle curve of the S and the angular formation of the A and K, they swooped down and then up with the arc of the U and traversed the elegant structure of the R from the leg to the tail and then returned again to follow the familiar sharpness of the last A.

'_Sakura.'_

It was like touching a part of her.

No matter how much time passed, how much she or he changed, this name remained here, permanently the same. Something about it was strangely comforting. And then again something about it was also severely disconcerting.

He had often wondered why her name was still there. He resented it and its implications. Sakura was not dead. She was alive and breathing and he had brought her back himself.

So why was her name still here?

It annoyed him for several other reasons. This memorial was for those who had died in service to Konoha. Though they had all at one time thought she had died, she was somehow still alive. And it bothered Kakashi that when he came to pay his respects, he spent more time thinking about her than those friends he had lost in the past. Of course he still visited for Rin, Obito, Minato, Jiraiya and Asuma, among many others, but he found that he was always invariably distracted by Sakura's name.

And it both angered him and saddened him when he thought about how it was somehow appropriate that her name was there. Especially after what he had seen last night, it was evident that Sakura had not returned the same lively girl he had known so long ago. It was undeniable that a very large part of Sakura had died during her captivity. And somehow, that engraving in the stone represented this missing piece.

But still…..

It wasn't just that her name was a distraction. Just seeing it was a trigger to release the dam on all the painful memories and feelings surrounding her 'death.' The battle in which he lost her the first time, her funeral, finding her in the woods, and the pervasive guilt that was always present.

Guilt that he had failed to protect her.

Guilt that he had given up on her.

Guilty that when he found her he wished she had just died. That he would rather she had died than been subjected to six months of torture.

And then there was the new guilt that he had abandoned her. That after everything, he had left her all alone to fend for herself.

But there was also something else.

When Kakashi looked at the graceful indentation of her name on the stone, he remembered most of all what it had felt like to lose her.

What it had felt like to have his heart shattered into a million jagged little pieces.

It had been strange at first, almost surreal. Everything between them had been wonderfully fine, and then all of a sudden she was just gone.

* * *

_Kakashi sat in __a tree and pretended to read his book. But he was actually watching with __interest__ the group settled around the campfire below him. Actually he was watching one person in particular. _

_And then after I punch__ him and he goes soaring up into the air, I see __Neji__ here step out of the shadows. And like __it's the most natural thing in the world, __he casually stretches his hand out and Whack, he __close__ lines__ Naruto and walks away like nothing at all happened."_

_The entire __group looked__ at __Neji__ in surprise. _

_"The idiot had it coming,"__ he dismissively explained__ and everybody burst out laughing at Neji's passive aggressive revenge. _

_Kakashi watched as the animated pink hair__ed__ story teller doubled over with tears in her eyes. __She had been entertaining the squadron with Naruto stories for the last hour. He found himself __chuckling__ at several of them he had lived__ through himself. And everyone else seemed to thoroughly be enjoying the medic__s __infectiou__s light hearted attitude. Kakashi had never heard so much laughter at an ANBU campfire. _

_It was amazing how natural she was at making people feel better. The once __palpable__ tension about the tough mission ahead had dissipated as soon as Sakura sat down at the campfire and started talking with everyone. Even those hardened ANBU men he knew she had never met before seemed to be at ease with the free spirited young woman. It really was a sight. _

_She really was a sight. Her cheeks were rosy from laughter and the campfire sparkled off her bright __green __eyes. And the way her ANBU uniform hugged her every curve. Kakashi had always thought that there was nothing sexier than a woman in an ANBU uniform. They were tight and sleek and showed off a woman's curves in a way that the normal shinobi uniform couldn't possibly. Not to mention how kinky the long gloves looked on them. He had fantasies about kunoichi sprawled across a bed in nothing but those gloves. All kunoichi looked amazing when they donned the outfit. But after seeing the pink haired beauty standing and waiting for him impatiently at __Konoha's__ front gates before their departure __five__ days ago, he had to say that there was nothing __more sexy__ than Sakura in an ANBU uniform. _

_And it was all made even sexier by the fact that she had no idea. _

_She was the only woman in their __twenty-four__ man team, and __Kakashi__ was sure she had noticed how eyes seemed to follow her whenever she walked by. __But it didn't seem to bother her at all. The other ANBU all treated her with the highest amount of respect. She was after all the Hokage's apprentice and a famous medic-nin. They knew they were __damn __lucky to have her with them. And though Kakashi could definitely tell that many of the men had noticed her stunning beauty as well, nobody tried anything inappropriate. Well nobody but one lecherous __nin__. It was more or less implicitly clear that __Kakashi__ was very protective of the young woman__ he had brought on the mission to serve as medic,__ and that made her off limits. __Genma often served a higher purpose of conveying this message when he stepped out of bounds, which was at least once a day.__ In fact he was long overdue for his daily beating, Kakashi noted._

_The laughter below had calmed down and Sakura was shaking her head happily. _

_The eighteen or so men at the campfire looked really content. That was probably not necessarily a good thing as they were practically straddling the border between Fire and Sound, but Kakashi wasn't impervious to Sakura's light heartedness either. So he would allow them to continue to relax tonight. He was enjoying watching and li__stening to her too much. And the shinobi on guard duty around the campsite would let them know i__f anything was going down. For __now it was just nice to watch as Sakura worked her magic and made everyone forget they were out risking their lives. _

_"Hey Sakura, why don't you come over here and let me tell you a story?" Genma called out and patted his lap while wiggling his eyebrows suggestively._

_And there it was. Kakashi __had been waiting and his idiot friend hadn't failed to deliver. _

_The other men at the campfire began to look around expectantly. They were waiting for Kakashi to appear out of nowhere and teach Genma a lesson once again. _

_But before Kakashi could close his book Sakura did something that caught him and the __other's__ completely off guard. _

_"Alright Genma.__ But it better be a good one," she seductively __answered while walking over to him with a slight sway __of__ her hips._

_Genma looked overjoyed, like a kid that just got the keys to the candy store. His __cheshire__ cat grin spread across his face and __was __highlighted by the ever present senbon. The other shinobi simply gaped at the scene unfolding before them. Surely Sakura-san wasn't giving in to Genma-san's advances. And where __the hell __was Kakashi-taichou?_

_Kakashi stayed perched in his tree watching his former student with interest. __She was most definitely up to something and his inner sadist couldn't wait to see what she did to Genma. However, his glee mellowed slightly as he watched Sakura settle comfortably __into his friend__s lap. He knew it was just an act, but why did she have to make it so convincing? __Kakashi__ was extremely close to getting up and intervening as he watched Genma bring a hand to rest on Sakura's knee and the other __to __wrap around her waist. __Since when did Genma have permission to touch her so intimately? He was definitely going to pay for this._

_Sakura reached up and pulled the senbon from Genma's grinning mouth and popped it between her own teeth. He looked at her with shock. Few women had the audacity to take his weapon of choice away. It was possibly the sexiest thing he had ever seen. Sakura looked up into his eyes with big innocent green ones and asked him sweetly "So what's my story Genma-kun?" Her hands __rose up to link behind his neck and he could feel her fingertips gently caressing the sensitive skin there. _

_Fuck everyone __else;__ he was finally getting what he wanted. He didn't care if the other men were looking on. __And Kakashi could go screw himself. __Genma leaned forward to whisper__ a dirty story__ in__to__ her ear. His mouth opened__ but suddenly__ he stopped._

_Everyone stared in tense silence for a moment as Sakura just continued to look up sweetly into his face. And then suddenly Genma was falling backwards and hitting the ground with a thud and Sakura was throwing her head back and laughing manically. _

_The other men stared at her in shock. What the hell did she just do to Genma-san?_

_Sakura noticed the somewhat frightened faces of the men around her and stood up to collect herself. __She spit the senbon into __the trunk of __a nearby tree before addressing the nervous men.__Relax you __guys,__ I just paralyzed him with the pressure points in his neck. It should last maybe ten more minutes."_

_Gotta__ love Kunoichi skills.__ Men never see them coming._

_"Wow, Sakura-san, very impressive," a nearby shinobi complimented._

_"Oh that, that was nothing," she smiled deviously at him before reaching behind her to pull from her pouch a black permanent marker and a small disposable camera. She tossed each item to a man nearby. _

_'Genius,' thought Kakashi._

_"Don't say I never did anything nice for you boys," she winked before turning and walking away from the paralyzed man. The look of utter glee that blossomed on the faces of several of the hardened ANBU men was priceless. _

_Oh, Genma was going to get it good. _

_Kakashi giggled __evilly__ to himself. There was nothing better than seeing Genma get made an ass __of__. This was probably the best instance he had ever witnessed. His former student had __skill. __That and she was sassy, beautiful, brilliantly smart, __firey__, passionate, frighteningly strong, and slightly evil. Sakura was a woman after his own heart. _

_He watched __with interest __as Sakura's face transformed from a manic grin to a soft smile as she approached a shinobi abstaining from the Genma mutilation festivities. _

_"How are you feeling today Akai-san," she asked as she knelt in front of the sitting man. _

_"Much better thanks to you Sakura-san," the young man replied. _

_"Very good," Sakura patted her knee and the young man extended his leg out and rested his foot on it. Apparently this was a familiar routine. His ankle was bound with bandages, which she quickly removed. Sakura formed a few hand seals before laying a hand upon his ankle and releasing glowing chakra into his leg. _

_They stayed like that for a few __minutes__, Sakura with her eyes closed tight in concentration. Kakashi watched enamored as she drew her bottom lip into her mouth to chew on as she focused. Her pink hair __swung in the mildly cool breeze. __She really was so gorgeous. _

_The young man's shoulders gradually began to relax. Sakura must have been relieving his pain as well as healing him.__ Kakashi heard a sigh escape his lips. He knew that Akai had sprained his ankle, but he wasn't aware it had been severe enough to cause continued discomfort. Thank __Kami__ Sakura was here to handle those kinds of things._

_Suddenly green eyes were snapped open and Sakura was reaching behind to her pack to __retrieve__ a roll of bandages. She speedily rolled the young man's ankle back up and lowered it to the ground before standing up. _

_"Ok, that should do for tonight. It's looking much, much better now__, but I still want you to keep it bound to reduce the swelling," she explained with a smile._

_"Thank you__ Sakura-san," the young man practically beamed at her._

_Sakura laughed. "No problem Akai-san. You've been a very good patient." She smiled down at him and patted his shoulder__ as she started to walk past__. "Let me fetch you some extra bandages to carry in your pack just in case. __Alright?"_

_Kakashi smiled. She was always so well prepared. _

_The young shinobi nodded. And Sakura turned to walk away from the group surrounding the campfire. Kakashi saw her glance around before she disappeared into the darkness. _

_'I wonder if she's looking for me,' he thought before turning to his forgotten book. _

_A few seconds later she flickered up in front of him on the large tree branch. _

_"I see you're enjoying yourself," __Kakashi__ looked __meaningfully __at the group of men surrounding the __now __unparalyzed__ but disoriented Genma, who was sporting a __markered __unibrow__, a __twirly__ mustache, long bushy sideburns, and a penis in the middle of his forehead. __So much for subtlety…_

_"Hmm, likewise," she teased looking pointedly at his book. _

_"Mmm__" was his answer as he flipped the page, even though he hadn't actually finished reading it yet. _

_"Sensei?"_

_"Kakashi." __He wondered why she insisted on calling him sensei. They hadn't had that type of relationship for about __seven__ years. And besides, their relationship now was definitely not one of student and teacher. For the past four months the two had been relentlessly engaging in flirtatious banter. Kakashi's feelings for Sakura were nothing less than those that a man felt for a woman. If he didn't know any better, Kakashi would say that he had fallen for her…_

_"Arrrgh__, alrigh__t __Kakashi?"_

_"H__mm?"_

_"Can I ask you kind of a personal question?"_

_'Shit' that was heading to dangerous territory. He looked somewhat furtively at her before cautiously continuing. "I guess."_

_"I was just wondering if you realize how ridiculous a hobby reading is for __someone like __you," s__he asked with a wide teasing grin._

_"Are you trying to say I'm stupid or something Sakura?"_

_She laughed outright at that. "No. It's just the whole reading with one eye thing. It is probably the most ridiculous hobby you could have other than __knitting."_

_"You see that's where __you're__ wrong. I'm a fine knitter." _

_Her __delicious __laughter filled his ears once again. "Yea I bet you are Kakashi."_

_"Are you teasing me Sakura-__chan_

_"No__ of course not.__ I highly respect you and your ability to read with one eye and make __fine __textiles. You're a true shinobi." She plopped down on the tree branch next to him. _

_Suddenly the air around them was filled with the sound of brushing leafs a__s a cool breeze rushed through the tree tops._

_"Brr.__ Maybe you can knit me a sca__rf then. These ANBU uniforms__ are a little cool," she joked but Kakashi could see her hands on her lap slightly shiver. _

_'Don't do it,' he warned himself. But Kakashi was never one for following the rules, well at least not since he was a kid._

_"Come here," he said as he lifted his arm up. She looked at him carefully for a moment before shrugging and scooting over to lean her back against his chest. His arm wrapped around her __shoulder __and pulled her close. _

_They stayed like that for several moments, neither one quite sure what to say. "Wouldn't this be trouble if somebody saw us?" Sakura asked with a small voice. _

_Probably, but he didn't say that. _

_"Nah, were just simply sharing body heat. It's a pretty standard survival practice."_

_Sakura rolled her eyes but didn't say anything. She doubted that this would be looked upon as a 'survival practice.' She hadn't been in ANBU very long but she had yet to see anybody 'sharing body heat' with another teammate.__ Especially seeing as it was __currently __the middle of summer.__ But if Kakashi wanted to __pretend, she was more than happy to let him. As long as he kept his muscled arm wrapped around her__ she wasn't going to complain_

_She noticed the book still open in his other hand and felt compelled to comment. "I'm so glad to see you haven't changed Kakashi."_

_"I feel like I'm not going to like where this is going," he said with mock apprehension._

_"No, no. I'm not making fun. I like that I can always count on you to be the same. I don't know why, but something about that is really..." she trailed off, searching for the right word._

_"Sexy?" he offered._

_"Tch.__ You wish." She shrugged her shoulder into his chest slightly and he squeezed her tighter to him in retaliation. "You're always so ridiculous," she __sighed_

_"Ridiculous?" he asked in an almost pouting tone._

_"Yes, ridiculous," she said matter of __factly__ turning to look __up into__ his face with a __bright__ smile. _

_Kakashi looked down into her eyes__. Their playful banter wasn't necessarily distracting him from the dangerously close proximity of her body, or the sweet smell of her hair, or the soft pale pink of her__ ripe__ bottom lip…_

_He blinked quickly and turned his gaze back forward__s__. For a second the urge to kiss her had been overwhelming. He needed to focus on the conversation._

_"How exactly am I ridiculous Sakura?" he asked. _

_Sakura too was a little shaken up. She had seen something__ like desire pass over his eye __and watched how his gaze fell to her mouth. __For a second she seriously thought he intended to kiss her. _

_But she recovered quickly enough when her eyes followed his gaze back to his open book. She reached forward and grabbed it from his hand. Or rather, he allowed her to grab it. Kakashi was not a man who could have something taken from him without his permission. So for now, he seemed to be appeasing her. _

_"This is how. You could be reading the finest literature the world has to offer, God knows __your__ smart enough, but instead you read," she quickly flipped the book over and read off the title with an arched eyebrow, "__Icha __Icha__ Seductress. Oh please."_

_"For your information that happens to be 'fine literature.'__ The plot is complex, the characters well developed, the imagery and dialogue nuanced. It's really one of __Jira__i__ya's__ best works."_

_"Oh really now?__ Then I guess all of these years I've been terribly wrong. Let's see what I've been missing." Sakura flipped back to the page Kakashi had been on before clearing her throat and beginning to read from the top. __She spoke in the most slow __and __sultry tone she could manage as she narrated. _

_"'Say it,' he growled into her ear as he teased her silky opening relentlessly with the head of his engorged manhood. The kunoichi's back arched up off the bed as her hips writhed and twisted, searching for any friction to satisfy her aching desire. She pulled desperately at the bindings on her wrists, but to no avail. She was completely at his mercy. 'Please...' she whimpered. She felt as though she would be incinerated by the heat of his skin and mouth. The excruciating throbbing grew stronger as his hot mouth closed down over her areola. His tongue darted over her nipple, teasing it between rough bites from his teeth. The kunoichi's head fell back and she let out a pleasured wail as the pad of his thumb rubbed over her clit. 'Oh, god please,' she desperately cried out, straining against his brusingly tight grip on her hip. 'He released her swollen wet nipple from his mouth and pinned her with a fiery gaze. 'Do y__ou want it?' His teeth found the pulse point on her throat. 'Yes,' she weakly panted, turning her face to the side to give him better access. 'Then say it,' he ordered, penetrating her with just the head of his cock. Her whole body jerked as she frenzily struggled against him, dying to be filled up. 'I...I...I'..."_

_Sakura was stopped abruptly when a__ large__ hand __firmly __covered her mouth. Her breath was rushing in and out, as what she had just read was perhaps the most erotic thing she __had ever heard. She could feel Kakashi's chest rising and falling quickly too. It was obvious it was affecting him as well._

_Kakashi hadn't been able to listen to her anymore. It was just too much. He had to stop her before she drove him absolutely crazy. Never had a woman gotten him so aroused just by reading to him. He had read this book at least five times, and though he enjoyed that particular scene, he was a little jaded to it by now. But hearing those words fall off of Sakura's tongue, fe__eling the way her breathing spe__d up, and seeing how her cheeks were growing pink with arousal, he couldn't bear it. So he had promptly covered her mouth with his gloved hand before she could continue even further. _

_But for some reason, the cessation of reading hadn't helped to calm him down. And the feel of her parted lips and her hot breaths rushing in and out __against his palm__ was most __definitely__ not helping either. He wanted this woman __desperately__. But this had to stop where it was. _

_Sakura gasped slightly __when__ she felt hot breath tickle over her ear. __Kakashi's masked covered lips moved against __the shell__, "Sakura."__ His voice was low and husky and made her eyes close and her back arch __a little. The arm around her fel__l from her mouth to her stomach and pulled her back __in__to him tightly. _

_Was this really happening?_

_"Sakura," his masked lips caressed her ear with her own name again. It was hard to breathe, it was hard to think._

_"Hmm?" was the only response she was able to formulate. _

_"This would definitely__ get us in trouble if someone saw."_

_"Oh?" she responded in the most innocent tone she could muster, "But we're just sharing body heat. __It's a pretty standard survival practice __after all._

_He growled into her ear at hearing his own words used. _

_And then complete chaos broke out. _

_An explosion from the North rocked the clearing and both Sakura and Kakashi jumped to their feet. Someone below them tossed a bucket of ashes on the fire and they were plunged into complete darkness. __The metallic ring__ of a sword __being__ unsheathed tickled Sakura's ear.__ She followed suit and braced herself for attack. _

_"Kakashi," she whispered worriedly. _

_The moon suddenly broke through the cloud covering and drenched them in cool crisp light. __Sakura's breath left her lungs. She knew she should be focusing on the battle coming but Kakashi looked so fiercely handsome in the shadowed light. _

_He lifted his __hiat__e__ate up and __revealed the sha__ringan before turn__ing to address the nervous woman __standing next to him. _

_"Sakura, stay out of the way.__ Don't engage anyone__ unless you have to__. You __are__ our__ only medic-nin and we need you to stay safe until this is over."_

_Sakura nodded. __"Hai."__ It was amazing how quickly Kakashi could switch into combat mode. He was no longer the man who had been holding her tightly in his arms__ and whispering seductively into her ear__. Now he was the elite shinobi._

_Another loud explosion blasted through the air. The lookouts must have been engaging the enemy and attempting to __alert the camp of the conflict. Kakashi looked at Sakura full on with both of his __eyes__ and it made tingles run down her spine. The sharingan both frightened her and excited her __all __at once. _

_"Find Genma and stay by his side. I have to go and engage their leader," these were order's but Sakura could tell __there__ was a hint of worry._

_"Hai."__ Kakashi could see, especially now that his sharingan was exposed. She was nervous and maybe a little frightened. This must have been her first conflict as an ANBU member. He knew she was more than capable of defending herself, she was not among the elite for nothing, but he wanted, no needed, for her to stay out of harm's way. __Yes, she was their only medic, but there was something more. __He wasn't going to be able to protect her tonight so __instead __he ordered her to avoid engagement and to stay with Genma. She would be safe…_

_Kakashi could sense the __enemy closing__ in. The shift in the air told __him__ they were still a little ways off though. He had just enough time__to…_

_Sakura's eyes widened as Kakashi stepped up close. He was so handsome and so dangerous__ when he was like this_

_"Sakura."_

_There it was again. Her name sounded so different when it came from his mouth. Then suddenly his fre__e__ hand was on the side of her face and he was leaning in towards her._

_'Oh my __god__,is__ he going to kiss me?'_

_Her eyes slid closed as his masked lips drew within centimeters of her own. _

_'I can't believe this is happening.'_

_"Kakashi," she unconsciously whispered. It was so sweet and wonderful hearing her whisper his name like that. Like it was t__he only word in her vocabulary, like he was the only thing that mattered__ in the world__. She looked so beautiful with her closed eyes and slightly parted lips. _

_He leaned in to close the distance between them. He wanted to feel her lips on his own. That's all that mattered._

_"Taichou!"_

_S__hit," he whispered._

_And then the explosion burst through the air. He had miscalculated. Kakashi scooped Sakura up into his arms and leapt through __off of the branch. __The fire of the explosi__on singed the back of his neck. They had just barely managed to outrun the fireball but the shockwave came next. Kakashi landed on the ground as gently as possible, but was knocked forward when it hit. His body covered the woman beneath him in his best attempt to shield her from any flying __debris_

_"Fuck," he groaned as he stood up and pulled a very unsteady Sakura up with him. _

_"Are you ok," she asked worriedly._

_"Yea, __Im__ alright," he__ responded quickly. "Get going now Sakura. And don't forget your mask," he called out over his shoulder as he rushed towards what appeared to be the densest area of battling. _

_"Hai," Sakura replied before pulling her mask out of her pouch and securing it over her face. She cast one last glance on the back of the Copy-nin before heading in the other direction in search of Genma._

* * *

The battle had lasted for maybe an hour.

It was sound nin engaging them preemptively before they could get further into Sound territory. Sound had many enemies, so maintaining anonymity by sending out ANBU was essential to the safety of Hidden Leaf. The last thing they needed was to provoke Sound into attacking Konoha again. And the unit hadn't been deployed necessarily for combat. They were sent to scout. The large group had traveled together, but was going to break down into smaller teams once they got closer to their objective. Rumor had it that someone had stepped in to take Orochimaru's place. Though they had their suspicions, confirmation was necessary before Leaf would be able to prepare an adequate response. The ANBU teams were sent to surveill several of Orochimaru's suspected hideouts and were ordered to engage the enemy only if it was necessary.

But then everything had gone to hell.

Sound had spotted them or had been informed through a leak. Either way, they were waiting for a large ANBU group moving along the border of Fire. And they had wasted no time in attacking them as soon as nightfall permitted.

Kakashi had taken on the leader. But odds had been against him since the man was a long range fighter who used explosives. Kakashi hadn't been able to use his Mangekyou Sharingan because of the nature of the battlefield. He didn't want to risk sucking one of his own men into another dimension. So he had fought him as best he could with his copied long range jutsu. But by the end, they both had exhausted their chakra reserves. That's when Kakashi had got a lucky hit with his Katon no Jutsu, and was able to pin the man to the ground with the tip of his sword at the neck.

That's when he had made his biggest mistake. He had asked the man if he was prepared to die. And the bastard had laughed in his face. Kakashi noticed the hand seal too late and suddenly the woods were on fire with explosions. Apparently the Sound nin had been placing explosive tags on surrounding trees during the battle. It was the equivalent to suicide as they were surely caught in the explosions as well, but Sound had no forgiveness for those who failed missions. It was either die or come back victorious. So they had all died. As did over half of his ANBU squad. As did Sakura.

Kakashi had barely managed to escape using his teleportation jutsu. The survivor's had gathered at a point previously designated for this type of event. He had quickly sought out Genma and found him watching the fire ravage the forest in the distance. But Sakura had not been with him. She had never been with him. She hadn't made it out. She had died in the explosion. Well, she had actually been captured and taken before the explosion, but he hadn't known. To everybody, especially Kakashi, Sakura was lost forever.

And Kakashi's world had crumbled down around him in an instant. Loosing Sakura had been the most painful thing he had ever experienced. More painful than his father, than the fourth, than Rin or Obito. Because of all the traumas of his childhood, he had never allowed himself to fall in love. Bu,t all to late, he realized he loved the pink haired beauty. He had loved her…

It hurt that he only realized how much he loved her once she was gone. It hurt that they had come so close to sharing a first and last kiss. It hurt that he would never be able to tell her how he felt. It hurt to think that she would still be alive if he hadn't left her side.

Yes, the guilt was unbearable, but it wasn't the only thing. Sakura had once made it past all of his carefully constructed barriers. And when she had been taken away, Kakashi had been crushed.

It honestly frightened him that she had that type of power.

And no matter how often he stood at the stone, tracing her name on his fingertips and remembering the past, it still scared him that Sakura could do that again to him.

She had been taken away once like everybody else he ever cared about. He didn't have the strength or courage to go through it all again.

And so he stayed away.

* * *

"Ino!" a frustrated voice rang out from the direction of the street.

"Aww crap he found me," the blonde moaned as she set her warm cup of tea down on the table and turned toward the voice's orgin.

"Ino, where have you been! I've been looking everywhere for you," Shikamaru stared crossly down at the sitting woman.

"Tch, hiding from you," she grumbled.

"What?" he asked, hands on hips and eyebrow arching so high it almost reached his hairline.

"Aww, come on Shika, you're driving me crazy here. I just went for a walk and stopped in for some tea," she gestured towards the table as if to provide proof of her innocent activities.

He continued to stare at her incredulously but his eyes softened minutely as he studied her form.

"Now quit treating me like some kind of invalid," she huffed. "Don't you know I'm a highly skilled kunoichi who is more than capable of taking care of myself?"

Shikimaru sighed animatedly. "Women are so troublesome."

Ino rolled her eyes and held out her hand to him. He sighed once more to make sure his exasperation was properly conveyed and then stepped towards her, taking her hand in his and leaning down to kiss her affectionately on the lips.

"Well at least let me know when you're going out next time. You had me worried," he asked gently.

"I'm fine. We're fine. See?" she pulled his hand towards her and placed it firmly on her rounded belly.

"Yea I see," he responded with a loving look in his eyes, then leaned in to kiss her forehead before lazily plopping into the empty seat next to her.

"You know, for someone as lazy as you, you sure put a lot of effort into worrying," Ino teased before lifting her cup up to her mouth to sip.

"Well I can't help it. You always seem to be getting in trouble without me around," he responded in a huff.

"Oi, realax Shika-kun. We still have four months to go," Ino patted his knee comfortingly. "I promise you I won't go looking for trouble till after then."

Shikamaru sighed once more and put his head in his hands.

"Besides," Ino continued, "If you get to go out drinking with the boys, I sure as hell can go get some tea without you."

"Yea, yea, yea," he mumered while massaging his temples, attempting to assuage the symptoms of the serious hangover he had from the previous night.

Ino noticed his discomfort and decided to take pity on him. She knew that, unlike his father, Shikamaru didn't drink unless there was a celebration or he was very upset. So whenever he went out for drinks with his team after a mission, she understood and did not get angry with him. "Come here," she whispered pulling his shoulder closer to her so she could place a hand glowing with chakra on the back of his head. He breathed out in relief as her healing chakra dissipated his headache and the nausea that had been bothering him all morning. "Tough mission?" she asked softly as she finished and tenderly squeezed the nape of his neck.

Shikamaru ignored her question, choosing instead to lean in and give her a grateful kiss.

"Thank you, but you know you're not supposed to be giving your chakra away like that this far into the pregnancy," he scolded.

"Yea, yea, yea," she mocked his earlier tone. "I know, I know, but healing one of your hangovers every now and then isn't going to hurt me or the baby."

"I suppose not," he conceded. Ino was a strong willed woman, and Shikamaru had learned a long time ago not to pick unnecessary fights with her, because his logical reasoning would lose to her tenacity almost every time.

"So, why aren't you at the academy today? I looked there before I found you here," he asked. Ever since she became pregnant and was taken off the active duty roster, Ino had been teaching the kunoichi classes at the academy. It was a job she was surprised to find she enjoyed more than standard missions. Plus, she happened to be an excellent sensei, having just the right balance of experience, bossiness, and natural affinity for the type of skills that were taught to young kunoichi. She was seriously considering taking the position permanently after the baby was born.

"Oh, the kids are all out on field training for the next three days," she smiled.

"Mmmm," Shikamaru hummed as he reached out for her teacup. There was an empty one across the table from him, but it would have taken too much effort to stand up and get it. Instead, he decided to just take his wife's. Or attempt to.

"Get your own," she quipped as she grabbed it from his hand, the hot contents splashing over the side and onto Shikamaru's pants. Pretending she didn't notice, Ino continued talking. "I've been thinking about having Sakura come in and talk to my class about going into the medical field. I know I could probably do it as well, but Sakura is pretty famous, and I think she would have more of an impact on the girls, don't you think?"

Shikamaru was dabbing at the stain on his lap with a cloth napkin and only half listening to his wife. "Umm, I guess that's a good idea, if you don't mind bringing Sakura around the kids." He stopped mid dab, suddenly realizing what he had just said and to whom.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean," Ino practically screamed at him, her voice rising to a shrill screech at the end.

Shikamaru's shoulders slumped. He knew that he had just openly instigated a fight. Ino was, without a doubt, Sakura's biggest advocate and would defend her tooth and nail to anyone who dared to be critical of the pink haired kunoichi in her presence.

"I don't know Ino, it's just that Sakura isn't really the most personable person anymore. Having her talk to the girls about why they should become medics may be counterproductive."

"What! You think that she'll scare them off or something," her shrill voice was now at an embarrassingly high level and they were attracting quite a bit of attention from the other customers in the teashop.

"Ino, keep it down," he ordered, noticing the disapproving stares they were receiving.

"Don't you tell me to keep it down!" she yelled even louder.

"Geeze must be the friggin hormones," Shikamaru scowled to himself.

He was rewarded with a swift smack to the side of the head.

"Oh, man. Come on Ino, you know I wasn't trying to say anything bad about Sakura," he said rubbing the side of his head.

"That's not what it sounded like," she mumbled looking down into her teacup. Apparently hitting her husband had siphoned off some of the aggression that was making her so violent.

"How long has it even been since you last saw Sakura?"

"Maybe a month or two. But what does that matter? She's busy with work!"

"Yea but haven't you noticed, Ino, that Sakura is just always really distant and when she smiles it always seems fake."

"Well it's not her fault! With the hell she went through we could all make a couple of concessions for her. Don't be so critical Shikamaru," Ino snapped.

"No, what I meant was that Sakura just seems really-" but he was cut off by his irritated wife.

"Well, I don't care what you say, I think she will be great," Ino said in a pouty tone.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. Ino had always been difficult, but since becoming pregnant, her moodiness and temper had been magnified drastically. He was still attempting to adjust to handling her so delicately. Now that she was pouting, he needed to find a way to distract her and quickly, before she lapsed into a full on crying fit. He decided to resort to his good old stand-by: gossip. Ino loved gossip, and she was most definitely easily distracted by it.

"Speaking of Sakura, I noticed something really strange last night at the bar."

Ino instantly perked up. "Sakura was there?" she asked surprised. She knew her best friend hated social gatherings, and therefore avoided bars and other places where people congregated at all costs.

"Yea, I was a little surprised too," Shikamaru said with relief. She had taken the bait.

"So what was happening, what was she doing, who was she talking to, tell me everything," Ino barraged him with questions.

Shikamaru sighed. This is the price he payed for upsetting her in the first place, so he would just have to deal. "Well, when I first got there she was alone. But she looked like she was aiming to get pretty tanked. And then Genma, that ass, goes up to hit on her. And Kakashi-senpai and were watching, totally expecting her to shoot him down, but she didn't"

"Whaa? Are you serious. Sakura and Genma? That lucky bitch!"

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow at his pregnant wife who had clapped a hand over her mouth after her outburst. That would be something to discuss with her later.

"Anyways, they started to get really touchy, and I could tell they were both pretty intoxicated. But when Genma started rubbing her back, Kakashi-senpai stood right up and walked towards the bathroom without saying a word."

"Really?"

"Yea, it looked like he was getting really pissed off, but maybe he just really had to urinate."

"Tch, I doubt that," Ino responded.

"Alright women, be quiet so I can finish the damn story."

Ino rolled her eyes but remained silent so her cranky husband could continue.

"Alright, so then Sakura and Genma leave together a couple minutes later," he shot a look at Ino who was trying her hardest to refrain from commentating. "And then I headed to the bathroom to…ah… piss…but when I get there the door was locked. Kakashi had locked himself in there alone for God knows why." Ino had a good idea, but she stayed quiet. "And then I happened to tell Kakashi that Genma left with Sakura, and he went furious on me real fast. I mean the killing intent rolling off of him was scary as hell. And he went running out the door and then I ran into Genma when I was looking for you this morning and his lip is busted wide open." Shikamaru finished with relief. He hated to gossip, it always had troublesome results, but he very rarely had a choice when it came to Ino.

"WHAT?"

Shikamaru noticed that once, again they were getting dirty stares from the other patrons.

"Come on Ino. It probably doesn't mean anything at all."

"Oh, no! This most definitely means something." Ino was well aware how Kakashi had been acting towards Sakura since she was brought back. But she also remembered how Kakashi had acted when he found her.

* * *

_"God I'm __soooo__ tired," Ino moaned as she __trudged__ through the deep snow drifts. _

_"Stop __whining__, we're almost to camp," Shikamaru shot._

_"And __I'm __sooo__o__ cold," she continued, disregarding her teammate._

_Shikamaru rolled his eyes and continued to struggle forwards._

_"Well, I'm hungry," __Chouji__ joined in with his opinion._

_"Yea, you__r__e__ right __Chouji__. I'm __sooo__o__ hungry."_

_"Ino…" Shikamaru growled out his warning. _

_"Knock it off you guys," Kurenai said from behind. "This is what scouting the border in the wintertime is like. __Next time you'll know better than to take this type of mission."_

_Ino hung her head a little. She was the one who had pushed the te__am into taking this assignment, so it was technically her fault __if__ they were all freezing their asses off now. But she couldn't help it if she had a huge crush on __Shirunai__ Genma and he just happened to be one of the other members of the team._

_Also, Kakashi-sensei __just so happened to be__ acting as taichou and __Ino__ really wanted to see if he was alright. Ever since Sakura was killed, she had noticed his absence from around the village. She heard he was taking a lot of long missions, and she presumed he was trying to stay away from __Konoha__ and memories of Sakura. They had become pretty close before she died. Ino had even begun to suspect there was something more than friendship between them. But all that didn't matter now…_

_Ino __sighed,__ she supposed that she had also wanted to take this mission to get away from __Konoha __as well. __She missed Sakura terribly and it was painful to be assaulted by memories of their long friendship every time she turned around. The teashop they ate brunch at every Sunday, the bar where they had snuck in and had their first, albeit underage, drink, or the bench in front of the hospital where they sat on breaks from training__ while exchanging the latest gossip__. Everywhere seemed to have some sort of shadow cast on it by Sakura's absence, and Ino was glad to get out of the village for a while. It's not that she wanted to forget. She just needed some time.__ And she was thankful her team seemed to inherently unders__tand this. Though it remained unsaid__, she knew Shikamaru had __uncharacteristically __agreed to __come on this long and arduous mission because he was concerned about __her__. His keen sense of observation and deduction really could be a blessing sometimes. _

_But so far, after three weeks out in the freezing wilderness of F__ire Country'__s __borders__, Ino was still having trouble with her grief. She was beginning to wonder if coming here had been a mistake. Besides missing all her creature comforts, she was also disappointed that she rarely saw the two men she __h__ad accepted the mission to spend time with. Kakashi and Genma seemed to have more going on than just scouting the border, and often __disappeared __together without explanation. But she wasn't going to ask questions. __They weren't the type of men you questioned. _

_Rules were different at the border. Because of the close proximity in living spaces, privacy was a sensitive subject. It was an unspoken rule that everyone would try their best to give everyone else their space. And generally silence was maintained by all for safety's sake. _

_And the silence out here could be deafening._

_"Hey, you alright?"__Shikamaru's__ voice abruptly interrupted __Ino's__ thoughts. _

_She shook her head to bring her focus __back to the present. It was never a good idea to get t__o__o lost in your thoughts when in possibly hostile territory. She fully expected Shikamaru to berate her__ or at least call her irresponsible__ and __shot him an expectant look._

_"If you're really that cold you can have my scarf. It's troublesome but I'm dressed more warmly than you," he nonchalantly suggested._

_Ino was temporarily taken aback by this. Was Shikamaru being nice to her? All she could do was __stare__ at him with obvious traces of __disbelief__ on her face. The __cold __silence of the forest __was __punctuated only by their partner__s breathing and the __frictiony__ sound of boots pushing through snow._

_Shikamaru stared at her patiently for all of ten seconds before he rolled his eyes and trudged off ahead muttering something about __women__ and__ bothersome.__ Ino watched the back of his head curiously. _

_'What the hell has gotten into him,' she wondered.__ He really had been acting strangely._

_Kurenai's voice broke through the somewhat tense silence, "Ah, home sweet cave."_

_"Kai," the three younger shinobi __automatically __said together, releasing __the__mselves__ from the __genjutsu__ protecting their base. The ambient world__ flickered and then a large opening in the rock face appeared. They could see light coming from inside._

_"Good, __someone's__ home. That means we don't have to start the fire."_

_"God, __you're__ so lazy__ Shikamaru__," Ino poked him in the arm as she passed on her way into the cave and towards the warmth and dryness of a fire. _

_"I'm not lazy, just ene__rgy efficient," he responded so__r__e__ly._

_Kurenai and __Chouji__ hung their heads a little more knowing a full on argument was coming. Ino guffawed at his response and looked over her shoulder to toss him another insult. __"Energy __effiecient?__ What are you, some kind of __home appliance_

_She turned back forwards, but not in time to brace herself for knocking directly into the brick wall that was Genma's torso. She bounced off of him and fell back onto the floor with a loud "U__mph_

_Damn __it Genma__. What the hell __are you thinking?"__she__ shouted__, more out of surprise than __anger.__ The cold stone that made up the cave's floor was not exactly soft on the __behind._

_A hand was __quickly __extended down towards her from the side, and she looked up to see it was Shikamaru, for once,__ being chivalrous. But he wasn't looking at her at all. His gaze was focused suspiciously on Ge__nma, who was just standing there__ staring at Ino as if he was frozen to the spot. _

_Oi__, Genma what happened," Shikamaru asked as he heaved Ino up off the floor and onto her feet. But he didn't let go of her hand once she regained her footing, instead he absent mindedly held it in his larger one as he waited for a response from Genma. Ino __was not quite sure what to do. __Her gaze was locked on __where they were joined. Though __separated by thick layers of insulating __fabric, that__ was most definitely her hand in __Shikamaru's. __She could pull her hand away, but in truth it kind of felt nice being held in her teammates. But this kind of behavior was so strange for Shikamaru. He always thought before acting, even if it did appear right now that he just hadn't noticed he was holding her hand. Ino knew him better than that. _

_"Genma, what's wrong," Kurenai's concerned voice echoed off of the rock walls._

_Genma seemed startled by Kurenai's voice. His eyes shot off Ino and took in the rest of the people standing in the antechamber of the cave._

_"Kurenai…"_

_She slowly stepped in front of the linked Shikamaru and Ino. Her hands rose to rest on his shoulders in a comforting manner. She could tell Genma was __thoroughly__ distraught. Kurenai had enough field experience to know how to gently pull the information she needed from him. _

_"Genma, when did you get back?"_

_"Just now."_

_Kurenai could tell this was true. She had removed her gloves and could feel that the fabric on his shirt was still chilled from the open air. The cave also felt colder than usual, meaning the fire had just been lit. _

_Shikamaru was growing impatient. Something was obviously wrong and Genma was hesitating to tell them. Though Genma did look thoroughly freaked out, the strategist in Shikamaru couldn't stand by and wait for important information. Genma needed to get his shit together. "Hey, snap out of it. What__s going on?"__ he barked out impatiently over Kurenai's shoulder. _

_Kurenai ignored him and continued her gentle questioning. "Where is Kakashi?"_

_G__enma titled his head to the right and back, signaling towards the living area of the cave. _

_"Ok, that's good," Kurenai smiled. Genma didn't seem to be injured, nor was he covered with someone else's blood, so that probably meant Kakashi was alright. _

_"Alright, get out of the way then," Shikamaru pushed past them, dragging Ino along behind him.__ His patience had worn out. __Maybe Kakashi could give them some straight answers. _

_The sudden jostling seemed to make Genma snap to attention. _

_"Wait," he called out to the two hurrying further back into the cave. He realized he at least needed to warn them._

_"What?" Shikamaru asked. He was getting more and more frustrated with Genma's strange behavior. _

_"It's Sakura__…and Kakashi…it's really bad…"_

_Suddenly Ino felt very weak in the knees. Shikamaru grabbed her by the elbow when __he sensed her distress._

_"Sakura is dead…"this was __Chouji__, the only one not good enough at reading the situation to keep his mouth shut. _

_Genma continued to stare at Ino, Sakura's widely known best friend. "We found her in the woods. She was barely alive then. I don't know about right now. Kakashi __wouldn't__ put her down to let me check her over."_

_"You found her alive?" Kurenai asked no one in particular. _

_Everyone was frozen with shock. Sakura had been killed six months ago. Her body __had__ never __been __recovered because of the e__xplosion, but neither had those of other __shinobi. She was dead. They even had a funeral. It had been a nice one too. Practically the whole village showed up to pay their respects to the woman who had saved many__ many lives in her short career. Ino had felt a little irrationally jealous and had wandered if this many people would show up to her funeral. __It's really funny what people think about at funerals…_

_"Ino," Shikamaru shook her arm lightly. She didn't respond. "Ino," he was harder this time. _

_She looked up into his eyes with utter shock. Sakura was alive…_

_"Ino, you're the only medic here."_

_She gulped, knowing what he was going to say next._

_"You have to go and take care of her."_

_Still unable to form words, she simply nodded her head and allowed Shikamaru to guide her quickly back into the cave. She could hear the footsteps of the others following __closely __behind._

_The closer they got to the light, the stronger the feeling of dread Ino __experienced__. What if she was dead by __now?__ They had wasted so much time standing in the front of the cave and Sakura could have easily died. It would be terrible, horrible, excruciating, to get her back to only lose her again. __She didn't know if she could handle that._

_Ino began to run in her __aggravation__. She wrenched her hand free from __Shikamaru's__ and sped down the long stone corridor. But when she entered the large chamber that served as the living quarters, she abruptly stopped. _

_A meager fire was burning in the center__ of the room under the chimney __hole. Next to it, on a low __cot__, sat Kakashi. He was holding a small bundle tightly in his arms and looking down upon it. His traveling cape was concealing whatever he was holding beneath it, but the shock of pink hair peeking out from the brown material told Ino it was Sakura. _

_Ino couldn't move. She was __paralyzed__. Kakashi didn't seem to notice her presence either. He just continued to stare down into the face of Sakura._

_"Shit." It came from behind her. Maybe __Shikamaru__ or Genma. "Kurenai…" the same voice pleaded. _

_Got it__," Kurenai answered as she walked past Ino and over to Kakashi. Shikamaru stepped beside Ino and wrapped his __arm__ around her__ trembling shoulder__s_

_Kurenai kneeled down in front of Kakashi. "Kakashi…" her voice was gentle._

_He didn't react._

_"Kakashi, please.__ Ino is here. Let her look at Sakura."_

_His eye __raised__ up finally and looked at her. Everyone in the room was silent. The evident fear that shown from his one onyx eye was staggering. None of them had ever seen the Copy Ninja scared before. Upset, yes. __Angry, yes. __Murderous, of course.__ But Hatake Kakashi was not a man that feared anything. Or __at least __not a man that showed it to anybody. But now he was __sitting there __utterly __and unabashedly __out of his mind with fear, and that frightened everyone else considerably. _

_Kurenai's breath hitched when he looked directly at her. It was a moment before she was able to regain her composure and __speak again. "Kakashi, Ino is her only chance. Please."_

_He nodded and looked back down to the face of the woman in his arms. She was still pressed tightly to his chest and concealed by his traveling cloak. __He didn't want to let her go. He desperately needed to continue to hold her, to keep her safe, but his rational side knew that she would die. He couldn't let that happen. _

_Slowly, he rose to his feet and leaned over to __lay__ Sakura out on the cot. _

_Ino gasped and her hand flew up to her mouth. Sakura looked…._

_Shikamaru tightened his grip on her shoulder. He couldn't help but be affected by the sight of the girl in front of him. She looked terrible. Emaciated and covered with blood, her skin was almost stark white in comparison. He had seen many terrible things in his career as a shinobi. They all had. But this, this was different…_

_"Ino!"__ Kurenai yelled, now standing and facing her. Her voice had changed from gentle and pleading to __terrified __upon seeing__ the state of Sakura. _

_Ino snapped into Medic mode automatically. She ran toward the cot and shoved__ the blood covered__ Kakashi aside before falling to her knees. This was not the time to be panicking. She checked vitals first. There was a pulse, but it was dangerously faint. Her breathing was also faint and shallow. Sakura was standing at the edge of the abyss and Ino knew she had to act fast before she lost her once again. _

_She closed her eyes and started pouring healing chakra into Sakura's chest, stimulating her heart and lungs. She needed to keep her heart beating and keep her out of cardiac arrest. It was scary how close Sakura was._

_'Focus, focus, focus,' she __chanted__ her mantra. Yes this was her best friend, but thinking about that wasn't going to help anything. She needed to stay focused on the task at hand._

_"Kakashi," Ino could hear __something like desperation in __Kurenai's voice. There was a rustling of fabric and Ino was vaguely aware that someone had kneeled down at the cot with her__, at the foot where Sakura's head was. _

_Chouji__, get the fire going higher and get some water to boil," Kurenai ordered. _

_'Good,' Ino absently thought. Having Kurenai deal with the others would be really helpful. She needed to give her full attention to Sakura. _

_Sakura…._

_"Shit! What the hell is going on?" that was Shikamaru. He was __upset;__ she could hear it in his voice. _

_The heart started to beat a little faster as Ino continued to compress it in and out with her chakra. _

_"I…I don't know…" Genma answered. He still __seemed__ out of it. "We found her in a clearing on our way back here…she was just laying there out in the open."_

_She began to explore Sakura's lungs. They were filled with thick fluid. __Puss.__ 'Shit, pneumonia.'_

_"What do you mean you found her in a clearing?"_

_Pneumonia was not good. From her brief inspection of Sakura's external injuries, she had several evident stab wounds and burns. Also, the blood covering her pink hair indicated that she had some kind of bleeding head injury. __She had obviously been beaten severely. __But it was pneumonia that was most likely to end the life of an injured shinobi out in the wilderness._

_Well she didn't get anywhere b__y herself in the state she's in.__Shikamaru again.__ "Did you see any footprints leading to __or from her__ body?"_

_"No…__but__ the ground around he__r__ was…"Genma stopped._

_"Was what?" Shikamaru continued._

_"The ground around her was so saturated with blood I couldn't make out any evidence of another's presence."_

_'Shit, massive blood loss' Ino thought. She sent branches of her chakra down her arteries and into the heart to monitor the blood pumping through. The levels were dangerously low. All the stimulation of the heart and lungs she wanted to do wouldn't do any good if there was no blood to pump. __She needed to get some blood in her, heal the open wounds so she didn't continue to lose more, and keep her heart and lungs going. Ino was a skilled medic but she could not do everything at once. _

_"Did you notice anything else that would help when you found her," Shikamaru continued to collect information and analyze the facts. It was just something he naturally did._

_Genma was quiet for a while. He was either thinking or hesitating, but Ino couldn't tell because her eyes were closed._

_"Yea, she woke up for a minute when Kakashi touched her."_

_'That's good, very good, at least we know now that the head injury isn't serious enough to drive her into a coma.'_

_"Did she say anything?" Shikamaru somewhat patiently pressed on._

_"Yea, she said she was cold…"_

_'Shit, hypothermia. I need to worry about that too if she was out in this weather.'_

_"And she called out __Sauske's__ name…."_

_Sauske!__ What?' alarm bells went off in __Ino's__head._

_"All of you, shut the hell up," she snapped opening her eyes and looking around. "I need quiet to focus."_

_All the eyes in the room except Kakashi's fell on her. _

_"Kurenai, get me some blood pills fast!" she ordered, her anger at being d__istracted dissipating and brin__ging her focus back again to how __desperate__ the situation __was_

_Ino,__ how is she?" Shikamaru asked quietly from behind. _

_"She's really, really bad. I…I need to heal these bleeding wounds but I also have to keep her breathing and her heart beating__I__I__ need another medic…"_

_"No..." Genma sunk down along the wall with his head in his hands. __The evident panic in __Ino's__ voice was unsettling. _

_Kurenai returned from the other side of the cave with a vial of copper colored pills. She cast Kakashi a furtive look before reaching out and placing several between Sakura's parted lips to dissolve in her mouth. _

_Tears began to fall from __Ino's__ eyes as she tried not to panic. __She nonetheless continued pouring chakra into Sakura's chest. _

_"Ok Ino, it's alright. You heal these open wounds and I'll give her CPR. That should keep her stable for a little while right?"Shikamaru spoke from where he had kneeled right beside her._

_She nodded her head at him gratefully. Though stimulating __respiration__ manually was not as effective as with chakra, it would definitely buy her some time to deal with the profusely bleeding wounds scattered across Sakura's body. _

_Shikamaru reached out a hand to rest on Sakura's forehead while the other went to __hold__ her chin. But he was stopped when a hand shot out and grabbed his wrist__ roughly_

_"Kakashi!"__ Kurenai shouted._

_Kakashi stared into __Shikamaru's__ eyes with an unreadable, though definitely intimidating expression. Shikamaru didn't know what to say. Truthfully, he felt a little frightened by the tight grip on his wrist and the level glare__ of the Copy-nin__. Kakashi was __definitely__ not __himself,__ and this fact made him even more scary than usual._

_"Kakashi, stop it," Kurenai pleaded again. "He's trying to help her."_

_Kakashi released __Shikamaru's__ wrist from his grip. He then turned his eyes to Ino. She was staring at him as if shocked with his behavior. "I'll do it," he quietly spoke before hooking his fingers over the top of his mask and tugging it down._

_Everyone's jaws dropped, with the exception of __Chouji__, who had his back to the scene as he tended the fire. Hatake Kakashi had just revealed his face to the whole crowd. This fact left them all dumbstruck. Even Genma had never seen Kakashi's face. But here he was with no mask in front of several of his colleagues and they were all stunned. _

_Kakashi either ignored or didn't notice their reactions. He was too busy moving to the side of Sakura's cot. He gently __laid__ a blood covered and gloveless hand on her forehead, using the thumb and pointer finger to pinch her nose closed. The other went under her chin and lifted gently to open her airway. __The entire room was staring at him in awe. But he didn't notice. Sakura was the only other person that existed at that moment. _

_Kakashi bent __forward__ and brought his naked lips to Sakura's __parted __mouth. He breathed in through his nose before forcing his breath through her open lips and down to her lungs. He watched her chest rise and ever so slightly __fall__ to signal the oxygen was getting to __where it was needed. He closed __his eyes and sent another breath down._

_This was hard for him. __Terribly hard.__ To be so close, lips touching __hers, his mouth sealed over __Sakura__'s__, but not __for a kiss__. He never wanted to feel her lips and skin for this reason. He never wanted this._

_Kakashi lifted his mouth from hers__ and removed his hand__s from her face after carefully turning her head slightly to the side in case she vomited. He placed one hand on her bare torso and traced up the jutting line of her ribcage with his middle finger. When he felt the notch of bone in the center of her chest, directly between her breasts, he laid the next two fingers down as a__ ruler. __G__ently__ he__ placed the hee__l of his unoccupied hand next to his fingers. It was importa__nt to have the right positioning__. Kakashi didn't want to injure Sakura any__m__ore__ than this had to__. He lifted the hand he used for measuring and placed it on top of the other, lacing the fingers together and pulling back slightly. He squared his shoulders and leaned over her tiny form. _

_The next part was the hardest for Kakashi. __Even harder than feeling her lips on his__ own__ Because he knew this would hurt her. He breathed in and then quickly pushed down on her chest. Immediately he felt a pop as her fragile ribs snapped from the pressure. It was sickening, but he continued to quickly push down and up. This was to save her, not to hurt her. He just needed to keep reminding himself that. _

_He had to do this. Sakura was __dieing__. He was going to lose her again. He was so unbelievably scared. She couldn't have been brought back to him to just be taken away again. It was like he was cursed. But he didn't want Sakura to suffer because of him and his curse. This couldn't be happening. _

_'Please don't die…'_

_Ino just watched in awe as Kakashi proficiently tended to Sakura. __Initially__ it had been the sight of his bare face that __attracted__ her full attention. But now it was something else. Kakashi__ was completely focused on __Sakura__ and his ministrations were almost unnecessarily __gentle. There was a ty__p__e__ of raw desperation to the way he touched her and looked at her. When his lips sealed over hers to give her his breath, Ino sensed something very deep going on. _

_"Ino, get it together,"__Shikamaru shook her shoulder roughly. "The bleeding is getting worse__ he nodded to a wide cut running along her hip and up onto her belly__ that he was covering with his bare hands. __It was__ now gushing out richly red blood. It made sense, seeing as Kakashi was now pumping it through Sakura's body manually. _

_"Oh god," she placed her shaking hands over his, and he quickly pulled away before the glow of chakra began to emanate from __hers._

_The injury was more serious than she thought. The liver had been severely damaged, but that would easily heal __itself__ given time. It was the severed blood vessels that concerned her. __It seemed like they were somehow burnt, as if someone had stabbed her repeatedly with a heated blade. This was bad._

_"Kurenai, go right now and radio this to __Konoha__. Tell them to inform the __Hokage__ that Sakura is __direly__ injured and we will need a fully equipped medical unit sent __asap__. We will need a lot of blood as well as antibiotics to treat her pneumonia. Tell them they have to hurry!" _

_Ino looked back at Kakashi who was __in the middle of a set of chest compressions, the look on his__ bare__ face more despairing than before.__ To see such a strong shinobi that frightened both saddened and scared her. _

_'Don't worry Kakashi-sensei. I'll do everything I can to save Sakura. I promise,' she silently __vowed._

* * *

"Do you remember, Shika-kun?" Ino asked.

Shikamaru had been staring at his wife who had suddenly gone very quiet. "Remember what?"

"In that cave, do you remember Kakashi-sensei?"

"Oh," he sighed. "Yea, I do. He was acting really strange. I've never seen him like that since."

Ino nodded her head absent mindedly. She was still sorting through her memories, trying to pull out the ones necessary to support her hypothesis.

Shikamaru watched his wife. He knew that look. That was the look that signaled scheming. Ino was a busy body who liked to get involved in everybody else's business. That look never foreshadowed good things.

"Ino, please stop right there. I know where you're going with this, and I am NOT ok with it. It's none of our business…"

Ino smiled sweetly at him. "Whatever do you mean by that?" she asked innocently.

"Come on Ino, he's my taichou. And Sakura has repeatedly asked you to stay out of her personal life. She doesn't want you to meddle, Ino."

"Oh come on Shika-kun. I just want everybody to be as happy as we are. Is there anything wrong with that?"

Shikamaru groaned loudly with frustration before bending forward to crash his head onto the table with a resounding bang. Once again they received numerous dirty looks from all of the other customers.

"Check please," Ino called out sweetly.

* * *


	6. Ch 6: Ubiquitous Wounds

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

**_Beautiful Disaster_**

**Chapter 6: Ubiquitous Wounds**

* * *

"Why didn't you tell me," Kakashi's quiet voice shattered the cold silence that had settled over the training ground.

Two men were resting underneath the fragmented shade of a large deciduous tree, attempting to gain some protection from the harsh reflection of sunlight off winter snow. Thanks to Kakashi, it had been a more vigorous than usual training session.

"Huh? Tell you what Kaka-sensei?" the younger man responded curiously as he searched through his backpack for a bottle of water. Naruto noticed that his sensei had been acting strangely. The man had barely spoken a word to him all day. The Copy Nin's usual habit of sadistically belittling him during sparring had been noticeably absent and had left Naruto a little puzzled. But now Kakashi had decided to break his silence.

"Naruto, you should have told me…. about _her,_" Kakashi's voice fell to a whispered tone.

'_Her?' _

There was a long pause before Naruto answered.

"Sakura-chan…." he whispered distantly, finally understanding the behavior of the man sitting next to him. The search for water was immediately abandoned as Naruto turned to look at his former sensei warily.

"I had no idea. Why didn't you say anything?" Kakashi tried his best not to sound angry. He knew it wasn't Naruto's fault. But they had sparred together practically every day they were both in the village. Why hadn't Naruto ever told him about Sakura? Why couldn't he have said something?

Naruto averted his wavering big blue eyes off of his former sensei's face and to the ground in front of his feet. He waited a tense moment, as if thinking carefully about what he was going to say.

"I couldn't make you see something you weren't willing to Kaka-sensei."

"Hn," the silver haired man assented. He didn't feel like arguing with Naruto. The young man was probably right anyways.

Kakashi had never once broached the subject.

"She's changed so much. I don't really know what else to do…I -- " Naruto hesitated for a moment. "I'm going to ask Hinata to marry me."

Kakashi's quick blink was the only action that revealed his surprise. What did that have to do with anything?

"Wow, Naruto that's great. I guess congratulations are in order." He reached over and tentatively patted the young man on the back and tried his best to sound cheerful. Though sounding anything other than lackadaisical or bored was quite difficult for him.

Naruto offered him a half-hearted grin and scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Uh, thanks."

Kakashi really was happy for his student. Tragically orphaned, he had never had a real family and now he would be joining one of Konoha's most prestigious clans. And additionally, he would be marrying the Hyuuga's future leader. All emotions aside, it would be a position advantageous to Naruto's goal of becoming Hokage. But Kakashi knew his student well enough to know that Naruto wasn't marrying the young heiress for status or power. He was in it for the right reasons and Kakashi did feel happy for him…

Yet he still wasn't sure why Naruto had suddenly brought it up out of nowhere.

"But Naruto, I don't really-"

Naruto's hand fell from the back of his head as he hastily interrupted. "It's just that I'm not really going to be able to keep being with Sakura like I am now, you know? I mean, Hinata understands and all. She has been wonderful about it this whole time. But, I don't know, it's just that now I'm going to be someone's husband and it just doesn't feel right to be that way anymore. I know Sakura needs me and all, but I feel so guilty, like I'm betraying Hinata or something. I don't want to just abandon Sakura, but to be honest I don't know if what I'm doing is even really helping her. I mean it's been two years and………" he rambled quickly.

Woah, this conversation was getting extremely personal. And if there was one type of conversation Kakashi did not have it was the personal kind. But that was the type of person Naruto was: no barriers, just uninhibited truth. And this was about Sakura, so it was necessary for him to understand as best he could.

"I didn't realize… So you two have been…." Kakashi wasn't quite sure how to describe the feelings that were suddenly spreading through his chest. If he hadn't known better he would have said it was jealousy. But Hatake Kakashi did not get jealous, so it was probably just guilt again manifesting itself in some unfamiliar new way. Nonetheless, it was anything but pleasant.

"No, it's not really like that," Naruto sheepishly hurried while looking anywhere but at Kakashi. Yep, much too personal. " Well at first it was. I think Sakura just needed someone to be with her like, I don't know, I guess normal... She was really messed up about intimacy in the beginning. Six months of……." Naruto's voice drifted off and Kakashi winced. "Well you know what I mean."

Both men's faces were graced with pained expressions, Kakashi's hidden under layers of dark cloth and Naruto's laid bare for all to see.

"Anyways, that's how it started. In the beginning that's what I could do to help her, to make her feel better. But after a while, it just wasn't as important to her anymore, and then I started dating Hinata and Sakura seemed to understand."

Kakashi nodded his head but did not allow any of the feelings to show on his face. He had no idea that they had gotten _that_ close.

Naruto rushed on, in a hurry to get it all out before he ran out of courage or Kakashi ran out of patience. "But I could tell she still needed me. And I always go to her. You have no idea how terrible it's been for her Sensei. She may normally look fine on the outside, but she's just really not."

Yea, Kakashi was more than aware of this. Sakura's behavior of the previous night and that morning were evidence enough. But Naruto, in his thick headedness, seemed to forget that Kakashi was the one who had brought up Sakura's state. He was glad because he didn't really feel like explaining to Naruto how he had come upon this realization.

"I just don't know what else I can do for her."

Kakashi sighed. He wasn't sure either.

"I promised her I would take care of that bastard, Kaka-sensei. But ever since Baa-chan called off offensive maneuvers, I haven't even heard anything."

Kakashi wearily turned his head to look at Naruto. He could tell Naruto was getting riled up. His fists clenched a little tighter and his blue eyes were bleeding with a hint of red.

"I'm gonna kill him. I swear to god, I'm gonna kill him for what he did to her," Naruto growled. "I don't even give a damn about the fact that he betrayed Konoha anymore. He's going to die for what he did to Sakura-chan."

Kakashi sensed the killing intent radiating off of the younger man sitting tensely next to him. While losing one's temper was bad for any shinobi, for the Kyuubi container it was deadly.

"Naruto calm down! You know Tsunade was correct in halting offensive attacks. We still don't know enough about the situation to rush in head first. We're not even sure who is in control. We have got to be cautious so no more lives are unnecessarily lost… I'm sure Sakura understands this. "

Well he really wasn't sure since he hadn't actually spoken to her for two years, but he hoped she did.

Kakashi knew his words were probably lost on death ears. Naruto was rarely one to exercise forethought and caution. He was more the rush into battle, kick ass and take names type of guy. And this seemed to work for him. But, it couldn't hurt Kakashi to try to groom his former student a little more. Naruto had grown a great deal since he was a brash twelve year old, yet he needed to mature a bit more before he was ready to lead a village. It was in Kakashi's best interest to make Naruto capable of seceding Tsunade, since the Copy ninja was the currently designated successor and he had no interest in taking on that type of responsibility. Being Hokage was an honor, but Kakashi was far too lazy and far too fond of his independence to be chained to a desk and an office. That's why he found it a necessary annoyance to spend some of his precious free time with the rambunctious younger man.

And yet, Kakashi completely understood the Kyuubi container's anger. Calling off the manhunt may have been the most appropriate thing to do after two years and many lost lives; however, it felt as though they were somehow failing Sakura by doing so.

"It's just not fair Kaka-sensei. Sakura used to be so… happy. And now she's just…" Naruto had calmed himself and now looked down sadly at his clinched fists.

'_Such heavy words_,' Kakashi thought. Naruto was always so optimistic, but for understandable reasons his lighthearted attitude seemed to be weighed down where Sakura was concerned.

"But I know she was definitely hurt by you."

Kakashi was caught off guard. Since when had they been talking about him?

"Oh?"

"I don't know, but you both were pretty close before she was taken and then you brought her back, but it seems like you've been avoiding her ever since then."

He supposed he had. It must have been pretty obvious for Naruto to pick up on it.

"Ah."

Naruto stared at him expectantly. Kakashi knew he wanted some type of explanation, but he wasn't one to explain himself. The boy should have known better.

"Geeze Kaka-sensei," Naruto shook his head with mild frustration.

"Hmm?"

The blonde dramatically slapped his forehead in exasperation. When Kakashi stopped communicating with words and reverted to hums and monosyllabic noises, it was a clear sign the conversation was over. Trying to continue would be like trying to see what was behind that damn mask. If Kakashi did not want to discuss something, he would not discuss it, and everyone else be damned.

And then the book would come out.

Naruto looked over to see Kakashi now hidden behind the frustratingly familiar Icha Icha book. This was Kakashi's equivalent of holding up a sign that said "F-off." It was just another of the walls the famous ninja constructed as his first line of defense. Though it was an extremely rude habit, for some reason everyone seemed to make allowances. He was just too talented and too mysterious to question. Naruto was more familiar than almost anyone to Kakashi's strange behaviors and not so subtle messages.

Yet, he also knew that something needed to be said. Kakashi needed to be held accountable for his neglect of Sakura. The man was stubborn and distant and guarded, but he was not beyond Naruto's influence. Both men knew this, only one refused to acknowledge it and the other hesitated to assert it. But now was not the time for hesitation. Not when Sakura was concerned. Kakashi could try to hide behind his book all he wanted, but Naruto couldn't back down.

The Copy-nin felt immensely relieved when Naruto stood up and dusted the remnants of white powder off of his loud orange pants. He felt guilty enough without being on the receiving end of his obnoxious former student's scorn. But as he shifted his gaze off of the book he hadn't actually been reading onto the stiff back of Naruto, he noticed the man was not walking away.

Like a scene from some clichéd soap opera, Naruto slowly turned back and pinned Kakashi with a gaze that was uncharacteristically firm. "You owe her an apology."

Yes, he already knew that.

"Give her one or I'll make you," he practically growled.

Ah, so that was the insane protectiveness Kakashi had heard Genma and other men at the bar complain about in passing.

"Hn."

Naruto sighed and slung his pack over his shoulder. He had about as much as he could take of his Sensei for the day.

As he turned to leave Kakashi lazily called out his name.

"Nauto."

"What?" he brusquely answered without looking back.

The sound of something flying through the air met the Kyuubi container's sensitive ears and he instinctively ducked to the side to catch it.

It was a nearly empty bottle of water.

"You were looking for that weren't you," Kakashi asked to his back with a hidden smirk.

Naruto squeezed the bottle in his hand until the plastic gave way and caved in on itself.

"Cheap bastard," Kakashi heard him mutter as he walked away stiffly.

Kakashi chuckled. Sometimes he just couldn't stop himself.

* * *

Scarred

The word kept reverberating in Sakura's head like a broken mantra as she stood shivering in front of the sepulchral stone monument. The mid morning air had warmed significantly under the ministrations of the sun, but the wind was bitterly cold and seemed to mischievously bite through the permeable layers of her clothing. Yet, Sakura remained standing, unsheltered in the middle of the manicured field, alone in front of the shrine to fallen shinobi.

It had once been whole and beautiful piece of something bigger, but was now only a broken chunk of rock that bears the ugly scars that are the names of fallen shinobi, dead comrades, children, parents, and lovers.

And of course there was a wound that was her own name.

Sakura's memories of her return were fractured and piecemeal. They mainly consisted of visions of the barren white of the hospital ceiling and the hollow noise of the respirator. Even after being released from the hospital, her memory remained broken. Naruto's comforting embrace, being fed nothing but ramen for what must have been several months, the discomfort of large open spaces, the shock of a soft warm bed. And every once in awhile, an awkward yet desperate embrace from one of her friends. It had been strange to her, how everyone acted. Yet, she didn't have the faculties or energy to attempt to understand her peer's behavior. But the day Naruto brought her to the memorial, it had all suddenly made sense.

He had explained about the explosion, the incineration of her teammate's bodies. That they had assumed she was dead because of this. He told her about her own funeral. How practically the whole village had come to honor her. How Tsunade had cried in the middle of delivering the eulogy and Kakashi hadn't come until the last five minutes, eye red and reeking of sake.

He described as best as he could in his own ineloquent way how losing her had changed everybody. Ino had stopped working at the hospital and left on a long mission with her team. Sai had stopped smiling, even if it always was a fake smile anyways. Tsunade had stopped drinking because she just couldn't find the heart to enjoy herself. Generally, everything had just…stopped. And he, Naruto, had been completely, entirely, desolately alone…again.

But Kakashi, he may have been worse than anybody.

For a while he seemed to have a death wish, taking only solo S-class and unranked missions. But then Tsunade had caught on and restricted him, fearful of losing another friend and another of Konoha's most valuable sired assets. But no matter how close of an eye they kept on him, it didn't change the fact that his family had a history of suicide and denying his new 'mission' of self destruction would leave him vulnerable to a more dangerous depression. Where Kakashi was concerned, it had been difficult to hang onto the fragile balance between life and death. So when he had done everything possible to stay away from home, he was sent to the border between Sound and Fire for an indefinite amount of time. Everyone knew what he was doing. They were by no means dumb to Kakashi's true intentions. He was not there to guard any borders. He was out for vengeance and he would not come home until he had satisfied his dark desires.

Despite being the famous Copy-nin, Kakashi was a humble man. Yet, for some reason, he always liked to take credit for everyone else's mistakes. And so he bore the weight of Sakura's death as his own sin. The desire for revenge was foolish, and he knew it, but the only way to assuage the guilt plaguing him enough to continue living some semblance of a life was to kill the bastard responsible. They all knew he wouldn't come back until…

Until the day he miraculously returned with the half-dead Sakura in his arms. Half-dead, but nonetheless alive.

But the Sakura Kakashi brought back through the tall gates of Konoha was not the one that had left them half a year earlier.

Just like the monument, Sakura was scarred. But hers were the kind that lay below the surface. If someone were to run their fingertips over her bare skin, they wouldn't be able to feel them, although Sakura did bear many disfigurements from the torture during her internment. No, these scars were invisible, the kind that had to be sensed instead of touched.

Yet skin was such a beautiful façade. The perfect disguise for what lay beneath.

The scars she wore were the kind that would probably never fade. Would not be smoothed away by exposure to the changing seasons like names carved into stone. Neither time nor the elements could erase them.

"You are just like Hatake. So predictable," a gentle voice broke Sakura out of her morose reverie.

She quickly turned to defend herself, hand reaching into her pouch for a senbon, but drew to an abrupt stop when she found herself face to face with a smirking Shiranui Genma. Somehow the lubricious nin had managed to sneak up on her.

"Personally I try not to spend too much time hanging around here. It's just too depressing. I prefer a more lively atmosphere if you know what I mean…" Genma winked at the rosy cheeked kunoichi.

Sakura narrowed her eyes at him. Of course he didn't hang around here, seeing as there was little chance of getting laid or drunk in the immediate vicinity.

"What do you want Shiranui-san?"

Genma quirked an eyebrow up at her use of the honorific. It was inappropriately formal for someone she had almost screwed in an alleyway less than twelve hours before. But, he supposed the alcohol involved had very much altered her personality. This solitary woman standing and shivering in front of him must be the real Sakura. Her cold kissed cheeks bloomed a rosy hue and her long pink hair seemed to glitter in the severe winter light. She was beautiful, no doubt, but there was something off about her. It wasn't just the dulled green eyes or the tense posture that suggested a strong desire to flee from his company. Genma could intuit something ominous that was present underneath it all. Yet it was something he couldn't define. Sounds and letters and words would not be able to describe the matter resting below her surface.

Searching her face for a clue, he found none. There was nothing but a type of emotional ambiguity, or maybe it was more like numbness. It was strange; Sakura was there standing in front of him, but she wasn't really.

It was a shame, he thought, because angst really did not suit her.

Sakura turned away from him dismissively. She didn't want to be rude, but she wasn't interested in talking about the events of the previous night. She would rather just pretend nothing had ever happened at all. It was apparent however, that Genma would not. She was actually rather surprised that Genma had the nerve to approach her. It wasn't necessarily that she thought he felt badly about hooking up with her. Hell, Genma had hooked up with almost everybody, male or female, intoxicated or not. Or that he felt guilty about the venue, since she was sure he frequented more 'unique' places during his numerous sexual liaisons. But Sakura assumed that Genma would at least feel ashamed for the implications that he made during his verbal sparring with Kakashi.

Of course he did say she was _not _some broken doll that needed to be handled with care. But the underlying message was loud and clear. Sakura had learned from the best to look underneath the underneath and it was obvious that Genma was saying that people viewed her in such a way.

What Genma had been really saying to Kakashi was something like 'Don't tell me not to touch her because you and everyone else think she's broken.' And it was probably true, which made Sakura even more hurt by it.

Because as much as she knew that she was irreparably changed for the worse, Sakura did not want others to know how serious it was. Of course she could not hide it from those closest to her. And she didn't even bother trying with Naruto. But with people like Genma and Kakashi, she hated that they knew.

Especially Kakashi.

He had once been one of those close people.

She wanted to believe Kakashi still saw her as the old Sakura, even if that meant that he was no longer in her life. If he carried the memory of her happiness then she could believe that some part of her had survived unaltered, even if it was only a little piece that didn't belong to her anymore.

Why Kakashi had disappeared from her life was something she wasn't able to understand. She had given up trying to understand that man long before she was captured anyways. Kakashi had always been somewhat of a paradox; he could be so caring at some times and so frustratingly distant at others. So even though she could theorize about his motivations, she had come to accept that she would never really know.

Well until what happened in that alleyway. Kakashi had made it more than clear what he thought about her. "_She's different,_" he said. And it had hurt. All of her illusions about Kakashi's motivation were knocked down. Kakashi did not see her as the old happy Sakura-chan.

But she supposed that it made sense. How could Kakashi ever look at her the same after finding her dying in the middle of the forest from six months of gruesome torture? Sakura realized she had been fooling herself.

It was obvious now that it wasn't his stupid guilty personality that was keeping him away. Sakura knew that she was tainted in Kakashi's eyes. That she was too fragile and weak and broken to be around him or his life. Well she didn't really know, but she strongly suspected.

"You know, I know a good jutsu that could take that right off," a low voice once again intruded on her thoughts.

"Huh?" Sakura realized Genma was still there. But he was no longer staring at her. He had his hands tucked securely in his pockets and was looking very seriously straight ahead. Sakura followed his gaze and found he was staring intently at the spot on the memorial that bore her name.

"Your name. I could take it off for you," he eyed her expectantly.

"No," she answered quickly and looked down to avoid meeting his gaze. Sakura knew a jutsu as well, but for unknown reasons she felt compelled to leave her name on the stone.

"Well aren't you still in ANBU?" Genma asked smiling

"Yes."

"Then it'll probably save time to just leave it up there. You go into ANBU and you live on borrowed time. And you, love, have already spent at least one of your nine lives."

'_Bastard…'_

"Well you seem to have lasted a while Shiranui-san."

Genma noticeably perked up at being addressed with more than one word."Sakura, please stop that. Just call me Genma.'

'_All right, Genma-teme then?' _she thought.

"And, you know, it's probably just because of my good looks. I always charm the enemy into letting their guard down." He flashed Sakura what might have once been a gorgeous senbon adorned smile, but his lip was still busted open and swollen and as a result he was missing the senbon this morning, so it looked like nothing better than a pained purple grimace.

"Tch," she wasn't in the mood to play Genma's games today. Well she wasn't really ever, but especially not today.

"But God only knows how an ugly bastard like Hatake made it this long."

And there it was. The invisible white elephant huddling in the corner had just been outed. Sakura suddenly was overcome with a strong urge to flee the awkwardness of Genma's presence before that elephant went on a rampage. But yet again, Genma was not willing to let her have her way.

"Uh, listen Sakura, I just want to apologize about last night."

"That's fine Genma-san. Please don't worry about it," she cut him off, turning stiffly to leave. She needed to get the hell away from him, the memories he was invoking, and the bad feelings that tagged along with them.

"No Sakura, it's not fine," he reached out and firmly grabbed her wrist to stop her hasty retreat.

"Please let go," Sakura warned, a dangerous timbre reverberating despite her soft voice.

His hand dropped off her arm limply. But Sakura didn't want to leave the situation unresolved since Genma-teme would undoubtedly feel the necessity to approach her again about it in the future. It was better that she accommodate him and whatever guilt he felt the need to relieve, so she turned back to him with a painfully fake smile. "Thank you for your concern. I assure you there are no hard feelings. Now I really have to go to the hospital for my shift. Excuse me please," she bowed slightly and yet again turned her back on him and walked away.

"Geeze" he sighed as he watched her retreating form.

'_Maybe it makes more sense than she realizes her name being on there,' _thought Genma sadly as he watched her back.

It just seemed... tragic. Genma still remembered the old Sakura.

He had always noticed she was beautiful, but he had only admired the pink haired kunoichi from afar. As the Godaime's star apprentice, she was famous and much admired, and he had been sure that she would be highly inaccessible, if not a little snobby. But then she had started to hang around Kakashi more and that's when he realized that all of his assumptions about the young beauty were wrong.

* * *

"_Sakura, go out with me tonight?" Genma whispered into the shoulder of beautiful kunoichi settled next to him. _

"_I'm already out with you baka," she giggled as she nudged his head away with her shoulder._

"_Yea, but he's here," he whined while attempting to yet again nuzzle the neck of the drunken young woman._

_Kakashi sighed. As entertaining as a drunken Sakura normally was, sitting across from her while Genma practically mauled her with cuddling was not amusing to him. So much for trying to quietly celebrate her acceptance to ANBU with a few drinks. His idiot friend had been kind enough to insert himself into their lovely evening. _

"_Who, Kakashi?" Sakura asked with an innocent cock of her head. _

"_Mmm-hmm," Genma answered into her neck. Several things had just occurred to him. One being that Sakura smelt too damn delicious for her own good, and the other that if she moved out of the way he may fall on his face since he had a little too much to drink._

_Sakura giggled again as Genma rubbed his nose into the sensitive spot on her throat. Yes, it may be a little overly intimate for her liking, but she always was a very affectionate drunk. And also, she immensely enjoyed seeing Kakashi's reactions whenever Genma was around: the way his eye narrowed dangerously and his back lost its usual slouch and his book lay before him, opened but abandoned for a more important vigil. She thought that his protectiveness was adorable, unlike Naruto's, in the sense that he was kind of sexy when he was bothered. And her more evil side loved teasing him into some kind of ridiculous, totally out of character behavior. However, this evening she could tell he was trying to ignore them._

"_But Kakashi doesn't count, Genma. Give him an Icha Icha and he doesn't see past the end of his arm."_

_Kakashi rolled his eye but Genma visibly perked up at the nuanced invitation._

"_You could probably take me here and now on this table and he wouldn't even notice," she purred with a devious smirk on her lips. _

_Genma's jaw fell wide open and he almost lost control of his senbon. "Damn, girl, you can't just go saying things like that to a guy and not expect…"_

_Kakashi slammed his book closed. He had let Sakura have her fun but this was going a little too far. _

"_Ok, I think it's time to go," he practically sang with false cheerfulness as he rose and gave her a masked smile._

"_Right, well we'll see you later Hatake," Genma answered, not removing his eyes or his arm from Sakura who was stifling giggles with her hand over her mouth. She looked so cute when she tried to be serious like that. "Say goodbye Sakura-chan," he instructed the little vixen._

"_Goodbye Sakura-chan," she cheerily responded before giving in to her laughter._

_Kakashi was not amused. Nope, no way in hell was he going to leave a drunk Sakura at the mercy of an equally drunk Genma."Sakura."_

"_Ah?"the young woman answered absently, rubbing some tears from under her eyes._

"_We're leaving." _

_Sakura noted the deadly serious tone of his voice. He was really much too uptight, she decided. What the man needed was a couple of drinks._

"_But Kakashi," she whined while sticking out her bottom lip. "It's still so early and I want to celebrate!"_

_Yet again, Kakashi sighed. Who was he to ruin her fun. She had made him proud by being his only student to follow his path into ANBU. Who would have thought that the boy crazy pink-haired little girl would one day be at the top of Konoha's elite? She most definitely deserved to celebrate._

_Yet watching Genma lean in towards her neck again, Kakashi decided that something had to be done about that. Evasive actions needed to be implemented. _

"_Fine, we can stay on one condition."_

"_Anything for you Sensei," she sexily purred._

_Kakashi started at the innuendo and the tone but managed to school his face and posture before the drunk woman noticed. _

"_You," he pointed at Sakura, "sit there," he pointed at his now abandoned seat, "and I'll sit next to Shiranui."_

"_Hai, hai sensei," Sakura gave a cute little salute before unwinding herself from Genma's arm and half walking, half stumbling to the other side of the table._

_As Kakashi settled in across from her, Genma whispered quietly under his breath, "I hate you, you bastard."_

"_Please don't tell me you actually thought I was going to let that happen," Kakashi muttered back before opening his beloved book again. _

"_You have no shame man," Genma fiercely spat._

"_Ditto."_

"_Did you just say ditto. God you're lame."_

_Meanwhile across the table from the discretely bickering pair, Sakura had begun to drunkenly entertain herself by humming a old drinking song Yamato had once taught her and attempting to stack a house of coasters. She absently reached for the pitcher of sake in the middle of the table but was disappointed to find it was empty. She seemed to recall that it had just been full a little while ago. _

"_Oi. Guys. I think we're out of sake," Sakura called out too loudly to the two shinobi while titling the bottle upside down over her head and peering into it with a squinted green eye to make sure._

"_I don't know Sakura. You may want to look harder," Genma teased._

"_Nope! I'm absolutely sure that there is no sake left in there. Whose round was it?"_

"_Genma."_

"_Kakashi."_

"_Aww come on, you guys totally suck!"_

_Neither man responded._

"_Ok, I know what to do," Sakura nodded her head with obtuse seriousness._

_With speed out of character for the amount of alcohol she had consumed, the kunoichi leapt up from her seat and latched on to the arm of an unexpecting Inzuka Kiba who had the misfortune to be walking behind her at that very moment._

"_Hey babe, what's going on?" Kiba asked the pink mess holding his arm._

_Kakashi ground his teeth._

"_Kiba-kun, whatchya drinking?"_

"_Umm, whiskey…" _

_She grabbed the cup from his hand and gave him a quick peck on the cheek "Thanks!"_

"_Awww man," Kiba whined before walking back to the bar sans booze. _

_Genma briefly wondered if her plan involved stealing drinks from her unsuspecting male friends all night. _

_Sakura giggled at the dog-nin's retreating back before turning to Kakashi and Genma._

"_Okay boys! Let's make a bet. Loser buys my drinks for the rest of the night."_

"_I'm out," Kakashi sighed before turning back to his reading. He was not about to enable Sakura's drunken foolishness anymore._

_Genma twirled his senbon thoughtfully. If Sakura was anything like Tsunade-sama, odds would most definitely be in his favor. "All right. But what do I get when I win?"_

"_If you win, what do you want?" a well groomed pink eyebrow was raised._

"_Well-"_

_Kakashi cleared his throat in warning._

"_Yea, yea. How about that date then?"_

"_Deal!" Sakura held out her hand to Genma. He took the little one in his own and was surprised by how weak her handshake was._

"_All right Pink, so what's the bet gonna be?"_

"_Hmm.." she tapped her chin thoughtfully which Genma found very cute but a little obvious. "I challenge you to a test of strength."_

"_Oh hell no. You think I don't know about you?"Damn straight he knew about her: the Godaime's star apprentice with the strength to crush entire buildings._

_Sakura laughed. "Fair enough. No chakra use."_

"_How the hell am I supposed to know if you're using chakra or not?" Well, other than the fact that it would take chakra for her to actually win. _

_The pink haired woman smiled widely."Well I have this friend who has this special eye that can see chakra..."_

_Genma glanced over at Kakashi who already had his sharingan uncovered and was watching their exchange with languid amusement. Apparently he had decided to participate, if only for the sake of seeing Genma humiliated. _

"_You know what, it's ok Genma-kun. I mean, I wouldn't want to go against someone as jacked as me either." Sakura flexed an arm for emphasis. Genma noticed that, while she did have nicely defined arms, they were nothing compared to his own. "I know how intimidating I am to a guy like you, so I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable or anything-"_

"_Does that hurt your back?" Genma asked, interrupting the kunoichi's rambling._

"_Does what hurt my back?"_

"_Kissing your own ass?"_

_Sakura gave an indignant huff which blew several of the strands of pink hair resting on her forehead up into the air. The captivated him him as they floated down to rest again on the peachy skin of her forehead . Genma also noticed a soft chuckle coming from his silver haired friend. _

_He really, really wanted that date. And not just to piss Kakashi off._

"_All right, I'll take your bet as long as there is no chakra usage. Even though I hardly think it's fair."_

"_Why's that?"_

_Did she really even have to ask?_

"_It's just biological love. I have the natural advantage."_

"_Tch. My ass…"_

"_Is pretty cute."_

"_Genma." Kakashi growled at him again._

"_All right. Let's just get this over with. So what do you want to do? Arm wrestle, thumb wrestle, wrestle wrestle?" He really hoped she opted for the last option._

"_No I have a more fun idea." She held the arm with the glass of filched whiskey straight out in front of her. "If you can keep me from raising an arm to drink this, for umm… five counts then, I win."_

_Well, it wasn't as promising as wrestling, but at least it would be easy._

"_Hm. That's all? No problem." He grabbed her wrist with one hand._

"_Over confident aren't we?" she teased. "Don't you want to use both hands?"_

"_Let's just get on with this shorty."_

"_Ok! Kakashi"_

"_Hm?" the lazy nin answered. _

"_Do it."_

"_Do what?"_

_Sakura balled her hand in a fist and and waved it meanicingly towards the Copy-nin."Arrg I swear to Kami Kakashi if you don't start counting this very second I'm going to-"_

"_One"_

_Sakura took a deep breath and tugged up on her arm in an attempt to raise the glass to her mouth. _

"_Two"_

_Genma smirked at the young woman's efforts. This was pretty much a guaranteed win for him. _

"_Three."_

_Sakura pulled harder but could not budge the strong hold on her arm. The whiskey sloshed around in the glass from her jarring efforts. Genma's smirk became more pronounced as he felt the Sakura's wrist twisting and pulling within his grasp._

"_Four."_

_Sakura winked at the smirking man who responded by looking at her questioningly. Before he knew it the glass was missing from her trapped hand and being raised to her mouth by the free arm._

"_Five."_

_The pink haired kunoichi gasped and scrunched up her nose at the taste of the cheap whiskey she had just downed. Genma, not surprisingly, wore a similar expression._

"_What in the hell was that?" _

_She answered after dramatically sucking in a deep breath of air to wash the liquor taste off of her palate."I beat you with one arm, no chakra." _

"_Wait a second-"_

"_Those were the terms of the bet Shiranui" Amusement dripped from Kakashi's voice._

"_Who the hell asked you," he shot at Kakashi before narrowing his eyes at very rosy cheeked Sakura. "But you said it was a battle of strength."_

"_It was," She tapped her forehead, "mental fortitude."  
_

"_Mental what? You gotta be kidding me you little-"_

"_It's just biological," she interrupted and tapped her forehead knowingly again._

_Genma stuck out his bottom lip and pouted. She had bested him. He didn't miss the small chuckles still coming from his one eyed best friend either. He was not going to hear the end of this._

_Sakura plopped down on the seat across from Kakashi. "What do you want to drink Sensei?"_

"_Nothing. And I think you're done for the night too."_

_She stuck her tongue out at him. "Ok. Get me some whiskey. The good kind too. Not any of this cheap shit," she gestured to the empty glass. "Two glasses. Oh and get one of those fun twirly straws for Kakashi here."_

_Kakashi narrowed his eyes and Genma's shoulders sagged in defeat. His wallet was already feeling lighter at the prospects of buying Tsunade-sama's apprentice drinks for the rest of the evening. The Godaime had surely trained her pupil in the art of consuming mass amounts of liquor in a single sitting. _

"_Oh, don't be sad Genma-kun," Sakura teased. He watched her tipsily lean to look around his shoulder and smile brightly and wink at someone behind him. "Besides, I know something you would probably like to hear."_

_Great, just what he needed, more public humiliation at the hands of one cheeky Haruno Sakura._

"_I don't even want to know. You're trouble."_

_Sakura smirked at him. "Really? Then I guess you wouldn't be interested in that blonde at the bar. She's a nurse I work with at the hospital."_

_Genma turned to see an absolutely gorgeous woman leaning casually against the bar nursing a long clove cigarette. _

"_Oh?"_

"_Yea and she's had her eye on you all night. I'm surprised you haven't noticed sooner."_

_Genma watched as the woman cast him a flirty smile._

"_Me too," he breathed._

"_Well go on," Sakura smiled._

"_All right, I'll catch up with you guys later." _

_Kakashi and Sakura watched Genma's retreating back with disgust and amusement, respectively._

"_Hey, you don't think he's going to forget about my drinks do you?" Sakura asked._

_Kakashi just rolled his eyes at the little kunoichi. _

_She jumped to her feet and yelled across the bar. "Oi! You, don't forget the whiskey!"Genma ignored her, Kakashi suspected purposely as he began flirting with the blonde. _

_Kakashi decided it was probably for the best as Sakura swayed dangerously. That last shot must have done it. Before she was able to keel over in her drunkenness, Kakashi was up and lifting her over his shoulder, hooking his arm behind her knee. _

_He was awarded for his efforts with sweet giggling and a squeeze on the side. Now he knew she was most definitely too drunk for her own good, as a sober Sakura would never permit him to carry her in such a manner without putting up a pretty decent fight._

"_Where are we going Kashi?" she asked into his lower back._

"_We are going to go and put you to bed."_

_Despite his burden, Kakashi expertly weaved his way around the bar's other patrons and headed for the front door. _

_As they passed Genma, Sakura reached out and gave his butt a firm pinch. The man jumped in surprise and almost lost control of his senbon once again when he spotted the pink haired perpetrator slung over Kakashi's shoulder. She winked at him smartly then mouthed ' good luck' before he lost sight of her at the front door. _

_"Later, trouble," he absently whispered. __Even though there was a beautiful blonde women wrapped around his arm, Genma found himself staring thoughtfully at the open door through which Sakura had disappeared._

* * *

Yea, Sakura used to be a pretty interesting girl. And, though he was constantly being blocked in his pursuit of her, he still remembered enjoying spending time with her. She was most definitely not a typical woman.

Even in the absence of alcohol, Genma was intrigued by the pink haired kunoichi. She was humble and caring and genuinely concerned about those around her. She had seemed to have this magnetic quality. He was enthralled with her brightness and sassiness, and she had even bested him once in front of their entire ANBU squad. Even her terrible temper amused him, as long as he was not on the receiving end.

But Genma had also been there when she was taken and when she was found. He would never forget the horrid state of her body that night in the woods. He could only imagine the amount of hidden mental trauma she had suffered. And her despondence last night in the alleyway was not the only clue that she was still highly affected, which was a terrible thing in itself since shinobi should be anything but affected.

But Genma still felt some very strong attractions to the jaded beauty. The memory of her soft body writhing and arching underneath him in the alleyway was the stuff that wet dreams were made of. No matter what happened in her past, Sakura was a woman to be desired, and Genma wasn't about to let her just dismiss him and walk away.

Just as Sakura had reached the relative sanctuary of the tree line and was letting out a relieved breath in celebration of her successful escape, Genma flickered up directly in front of her and halted her by placing both of his hands on her shoulders.

'_Dammit_,' she shouted internally. Genma was being a real pushy nuisance today. He was completely ignoring the fact that she wanted nothing to do with him. She would have to make it more clear to him, maybe with a fist, or even better, a blunt kunai.

Before the obviously annoyed woman could do anything to him with her heinous strength, Genma pulled her shoulders towards him and wrapped her up in a tight embrace.

Sakura didn't know what to do. No one dared to touch her this way except Naruto. Didn't he know better? Her hands just hung limply at her side as the strong shinobi pressed her into the hard planes of his torso.

"I know your still in there Sakura," he whispered into her hair.

Shock wasn't a strong enough word to describe Sakura's feelings. Shiranui Genma, a casual acquaintance from years ago and a drunken mistake from the previous night was treating her with such resolute intimacy.

"W-what are you doing Shiranui-san?" she meekly asked.

She heard him sigh and felt the burst of warm air caress across the crown of her head. "Please, just Genma."

Nodding slightly, she waited for him to go on with whatever the hell he was doing, but he remained silent, waiting for her to comply.

"Fine. What are you doing Genma?" she barely managed to whisper.

"Good girl," he said, softly and yet somewhat sexily as he released the reticent woman from his embrace. But one large hand remained firmly on her shoulder. She wasn't going to go free just yet.

"Sakura, I don't know if you know this, but I was with Kakashi when we found you. And I was also there when you were taken. I don't know how to explain Kakashi's behavior, but as far as mine goes, I want you to know I'm sorry. I'd like to think that you and I, we were starting to be pretty good friends back then."

'_And this has what to do with anything_?'

"But then you were killed, um, I mean taken, and it was kind of my fault. I know that Kakashi had entrusted your protection to me, even if you never made it. And then when we found you, it honestly scared the shit out of me. And I guess in a way I felt guilty, like I let you down and have been avoiding you this whole time. And then I acted like a drunk asshole last night and insulted you after trying to take advantage of you."

Sakura listened to his speech patiently. Genma seemed to be surprising her a lot lately. First, last night with his understated gentleness, and now with this self depricating sincerity. He must have really matured over the past two years.

"Genma- " she began but was cut off.

"No, please wait. I know that it's been a long time. And I know last night didn't really mean anything, but I like you Sakura. I liked you back then and I still like you now. I want you to give me the chance to get to know you again, but legitimately, not just a drunk hook up. So please say you'll go to dinner with me tonight."

'_Eh?'_

Sakura was taken aback by Genma's unexpected and forthright proposal. Didn't he know better? Didn't he know about the boundaries? Most men knew not to ask her out. While Naruto's fierce protectiveness of her was a significant enough reason, there was also the fact that she was looked upon as somewhat off limits. This may have been because she was the Godaime's apprentice, or that she generally acted emotionally unavailable and distant anyways. But Sakura suspected it was most likely that the shinobi of Konoha were wary of the pink haired kunoichi that fell into enemy hands for half a year and came back with her life. And then there was the whole mystery and speculation surrounding her rescue.

But Genma didn't seem to be restricted by any of this, and it surprised the young woman to no end. However, as refreshing as it may be to be treated like a normal woman for once, it didn't change the fact that Sakura would not allow anybody else to get close. Not ever again.

"I'm sorry, but I can't," she whispered, avoiding his gaze by staring at his defined chest.

Genma's hands fell away from her small shoulders and he took a step back from her. He knew better than to try to persuade or force the once mercurial kunoichi into doing anything she had denied. But he still couldn't help but wonder why Sakura insisted on keeping such distance. She obviously found him attractive. And he found her unbelievably desirable. But she seemed to have such fortified walls built up. It must have something to do with the past.

"Why?" It wasn't needy or sad. It was simply a question that he just needed answered. He just wanted to understand this Sakura. He suspected it was entirely about the events of the past.

"I…That's personal."

Yes, it was most definitely about the past.

He could have just accepted her lame excuse and walked away. But something in Genma told him to stay, to try harder. And Genma was a shrewd operative in all things concerning women. He knew how to manipulate a women's weakness. From what he knew about Sakura, the medic was selflessly concerned about other people, even at the expense of her own happiness or comfort. How else could you explain her hanging out with that annoying brat Naruto for so long?

"Sakura, if you think I'm ugly, you could just say so," Genma said as he did his best impression of dejection.

"Wait, I didn't say that," she started.

"No, it's alright. You don't have to say anything else," Genma shoved his hands in his pockets.

Sakura looked as if she was about to say something, to maybe even confess her attraction to him, but she suddenly stopped.

"Oh, you're good."

'_Shit_.'

"Do you really think all women are that transparent?" To Genma's immense relief, she looked slightly amused, which was much better than angry or annoyed.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he continued, figuring it was best to play this out until she either slugged him or laughed at him. She had caught on so quickly but Genma was nothing if not flexible. "I'm sorry I've made you look at my ugly face so long. I'll just go and hide in my room in the dark where I can't scare anybody else with my hideousness."

Sakura flashed a reluctant half smile at him. Though it was not one of the bright and uninhibited ones she used to give him for his antics, it was enough to give him some hope.

"Thank you," he said softly.

Sakura's face fell as her eyebrow rose up questioningly. "For what?"

"For proving me right."

She looked at him with confusion for a moment before a look of understanding flashed across her green eyes and her posture slumped slightly back towards the ground.

"I like it when you smile."

How did he do this to her? Even his smile, no matter how bruised and painful it looked, disarmed her in a way.

"Thanks," she hesitantly replied.

"All right, let's go," Genma placed his hand on the small of her back and began guiding the resisting woman towards the path leading back to the village.

"Go where," she asked.

He looked at her as if it was obvious. "I'm walking you to the hospital. You said you have a shift right?"

"Oh, um yes," Sakura answered.

He smiled brightly at her, "Good."

They walked in silence for the five minutes it took to reach the edge of the village, demarcated from the forest by a wall of colorfully patched buildings. Sakura braced herself to leap up onto the rooftops but Genma's hand grabbed her arm to stop her.

"No," he said simply, "let's walk."

She studied him for a moment then slightly nodded.

"If you'd like, I could heal your lip for you when we get there."

She was surprised at herself but, then again, everything about this entire day was turning out to be very strange.

Genma looked excitedly at the beautiful young woman. "I'd like that very much."

As they walked through the streets of Konoha, Genma thought happily about the progress he made with Sakura today. Even if he couldn't get her to break down the walls, it seemed he could at least get her to peek over.

* * *

Kakashi hated hospitals.

No, hate wasn't a strong enough word. Loathed, despised, abhorred, and detested came a little closer to describing his feelings about hospitals.

Now it makes sense that any ninja would have a strong dislike of them. Being in the hospital was an obvious blow to the ego; it showed that you're skills were not good enough to evade injury. Furthermore, staying in the hospital required an inherent lack of privacy. Shinobi were nothing if not wary of others invading their personal space. And when you combined these two factors you got an incapacitated shinobi open to invasions of privacy which made the hospital the perfect place for assassinations and made many nin highly paranoid. Factor in the mood swings that were side effects of most pain killers, and hospitals became highly hostile territory.

Of course, Kakashi felt the same as everyone else as far as these facts were concerned. But he mostly hated the hospital for the smell. As often as he found himself bedridden from chakra exhaustion after a difficult mission, the Copy-nin couldn't afford to linger on his injured ego or lack of freedom and privacy. But every time, as he lay in bed convalescing, the smell of death covered with bleach would bleed in through the layer of his mask and send his stomach turning. There was no fooling Hatake Kakashi's nose with thickly aromatic cleaners and detergents that stank of artificial lemon; he knew what death smelled like and the white corridors of the hospital absolutely reeked of it.

So Kakashi found himself wondering just what the hell he was doing waiting in the hospital on his own volition. He had been standing there for maybe fifteen minutes after sensing his former student's chakra signature in a room just around the corner. What was currently concerning him though, more than the smell, was the other person in the room with her. What exactly was Genma playing at?

Kakashi couldn't figure out what his friend had planned. Genma was never one to pursue a relationship, so his newfound interest in Sakura was more than troublesome. Kakashi figured that if he himself wasn't good enough for Sakura, the senbon sucker sure as hell wasn't either. And he hoped, for his friend's sake that he wasn't just looking for a fling. Not that Kakashi would allow anything to happen anyways, but if Genma dared to even think of Sakura that way, he would be in for more than just a busted lip.

So that's why Kakashi found himself here, on the second floor of the hospital, leaning casually against the wall with chakra expertly masked. In a vain attempt to distract himself, he had his beloved book out and in front of his face, but he just couldn't find the focus to read it.

"SAKURA-CHANNNN!"

Kakashi winced as the voice of Konoha's most unpredictable ninja blared out from around the corner. He silently thanked the powers that be for the fact that Naruto came from the opposite direction. No, he was most definitely not in the mood to deal with a riled up Naruto again today.

However…this could be a good opportunity to see Genma attacked and murdered by the enraged Kyuubi container. Well maybe not murdered. They were in a hospital after all, and his life would probably be saved. But still-

"What do you want?" Genma's voice asked.

A low growl reverberated from around the corner.

Kakashi gleefully lifted his hitai-ate so he could watch through the walls with his Sharingan.

He saw Naruto, chakra swirling wildly about, facing a nervous looking Genma. Standing slightly behind him was Sakura. Kakashi could tell she was tense, but was surprised she hadn't yelled at Naruto already. He remembered how Naruto's antics were often rewarded with a swift punch to the chin in the past.

"Get away from her you leper!" Naruto fiercely demanded.

"Leper?" Genma questioned looking at the exposed skin on his arm.

"He means lecher," Sakura quietly responded, eyes cast towards the floorin what could either be shame or resignation.

"Oh, lecher! Yep, that makes so much more sense," Genma nodded his head at her then paused, "Hey wait!" he cried out in offense.

Another growl from Naruto and Genma shifted nervously back away.

"Umm, I'll catch you later Sakura."

"Hai," she quietly answered.

In the next instant, Kakashi watched Genma take off with quicksilver speed down the hallway. Naruto was pretty damn scary when pissed off.

"Oi, get back here. I'm gonna kick your ass for messing with Sakura-chan," the rambunctious blonde yelled.

'_Damn_,' Kakashi thought. Genma happened to be very good at evading angry men out to kick his ass. Probably a skill learned from many years of screwing other men's girlfriends and wives. Well, he supposed he could catch the beating on another day.

But for now, he had more important things to worry about.

* * *

Sakura watched the retreating, or rather fleeing, form of Genma and Naruto. Though entirely inane, Naruto's antics did at least amuse her a little bit. Sometimes she wondered if Naruto would ever let any man get within spitting distance of herself. But she supposed it was ok for now. As she told Genma earlier, she wasn't interested in romance and relationships. Those were for normal people, people who didn't have a more sinister future ahead of them. Sometimes she almost understood why the old Sauske had been so stand offish as a genin. But all that didn't matter now…

Sakura sighed and turned to walk further into the pristine bowels of the hospital. Since she had no missions this afternoon, she figured it couldn't hurt to help out in the ermergency department. Kami knows they were short staffed, even despite Tsunade's numerous reforms on Shinobi healthcare. The fact was that the average medic nin position just didn't hold the glamour of active field duty. And the amount of chakra control and intense study required after graduation from the academy made it a specialty that demanded commitment at a very young age. Most fresh faced gennin were too intrigued by their own field training and traveling to commit to returning to a classroom and lab, and thus, the window of opportunity for recruiting new candidates was often missed. Sakura had been thinking about proposing a pre-graduation training program to her shishou that would identify and begin training medic candidates still in their academy years. Though it would cost a great deal of money and resources to establish such a program, it would also ensure the future health of Konoha's shinobi and civilian populations by exponentially increasing the successful identification and training of medic-nins.

Yet Sakura was most definitely not an average medic-nin. Her position as Tsunade's apprentice and the second best healer in Konoha made her one of the elite. Both the Hokage and the council agreed that Sakura's ability would be wasted sitting in the hospital. Her healing skills were amazing, yet her battle skills were also superb. It had been decided a long time ago that Sakura would have the unique responsibility of being embedded in teams taking high risk missions. That's why Tsunade had supported her joining ANBU so many years back. As an ANBU operative, Sakura worked directly under the Hokage, and in this capacity was able to move easily from team to team and participate in the most dangerous and secret missions. Though Tsunade always had qualms about sending her apprentice into imminent danger, she made it clear a long time ago that the job of a medic-nin was to protect and support others in a way in which they could not do so themselves, even at the sacrifice of their own safety. And Sakura was always proud to do so.

However, after being brought back, it had taken a long time before Tsunade was willing to return her beloved apprentice to full-duty status. Yes, it had been partly about Sakura's lingering mental trauma. But, they both knew it was also Tsunade's fierce desire to keep the young woman close for fear of losing her again. Sakura had suspected that she was held to higher standards as far as psychological health went because Tsunade was hesitant to put her back in harm's way. Ibiki had hinted as much during the great amount of time Sakura had spent with him undergoing grueling testing and exercises. In a way it was highly ridiculous seeing as a certain level of insanity was required for any ANBU operative. However, she wasn't one to argue with the Hokage. So instead, she used her vast intellect to lie and bluff her way through.

And, luckily she had been returned to full duty about six months ago. Before that she had taken mid ranked missions with Naruto's team and spent the rest of her time working in the emergency department at the hospital and undergoing counseling. Sakura enjoyed her work within the hospital. Unlike missions, she could always escape the mundane and bitter stillness of her everyday life by walking through the front doors. At the hospital, it was always about the pain of others. Because she was gifted with the capacity to relieve other's pain, Sakura never felt helpless there.

Even now she spent her free time between missions helping out in the emergency triage. It provided an effective cover for her work in ANBU. Because she was such a high profile individual in Konoha, and the identity of ANBU was a closely guarded secret, working shifts in the hospital was a good cover. If someone like Sakura were to be noticeably absent from the standard missions assignment office as well as the hospital, the many people who kept a close eye on her would begin to assume things. It was the reason Naruto and Hinata would never be allowed to join. So, Tsunade had instructed her to show her face at the hospital at least once a day when she was not on assignment. Of course Sakura was sure that her Shishou had never intended for her to become a full time staff member at the hospital when she was in town, but Sakura did her best to remain under Tsunade's radar. If she wanted to have two jobs as a kunoichi, then it was her business. After all, her life was her work.

Or maybe it was that her work was her life?

'_Whatever_,' she thought to herself as she turned the corner to head to the stair well. If she stayed discrete enough, she could probably get away with working the evening and morning shifts without being forcibly sent home by Shizune. However, it would all depend on-

"Sakura…"

'_Shit!'_

* * *

Two shinobi flew through the old reinforced steel double doors that adorned the front entrance of Konoha's shinobi and civilian hospital.

"Oi! Quit running you coward!" the blonde yelled.

"Well the stop chasing me god damnmt," the brunette answered over his shoulder. Genma sure as hell did not intend to face off with the Kyuubi container in that state. Nah-uh, no way. Naruto was notoriously protective of Sakura, and Genma was not willing to risk the wide spread destruction of the city as well as his own body while fighting the Jinchuuriki over Sakura, when it was just as easy to get to her behind the dumbass's back. Much more easy and safe.

"I'm gonna kill you for messing with Sakura-chan you pervert," the younger blonde roared as he continued his pursuit.

"NARUTO!" a high pitched banshee shriek rang out through the air and caused both men to stop and flinch.

Lumbering up behind them and huffing with a mix of anger and over exertion was a noticeably pregnant Nara Ino. Make that noticeably pregnant and scary.

"Naruto! What the hell are you thinking making such a big scene!" Ino demanded as she drew up next to him and grabbed his ear.

"But Ino…" Naruto cringed and whined.

"Ino, give him a break," called out Shikamaru's tired voice as he trailed up behind his wife.

"Naruto, I told you to be _subtle_."

Genma watched the scene with a sight bit of amusement. It was definitely a rare treat to see the fearsome Kyuubi container be so thoroughly cowed by a petite and pregnant woman. However, Genma knew better than to judge this particular kunoichi on looks for he had often wondered why his lazy teammate had chosen to marry such a scary, scary woman.

And despite the fact the he enjoyed watching Naruto being scolded like a naughty school boy, Genma decided he would take advantage of the opening and get out of their immediate proximity, fast. And since it was already past noon his favorite hole in the wall bar would be open.

'_Yosh! To the bar it is!_' Genma internally declared while making the hand signs for a fast and effective teleportation jutsu.

"Oi! Where do you think you're going?" Ino's high pitched voice stopped Genma mid-hand sign.

'_Crap.'_

"You stay right there Shiranui Genma. I have business with you."

Genma looked to his bored teammate for assistance but was only offered an unsympathetic shrug.

Meanwhile, Ino had released the whining Naruto from her hold.

"Geeze Ino, what's the problem?" he asked as he rubbed his sore ear.

"Naruto, go home!" Ino ordered, placing her hands on her hips bossily. Of course the fact that this action made her rounded belly stick out further made the whole pose rather comical, but all of the men were much too frightened of Ino's scorn to laugh.

"But, Innnoooo! You said that that leopard was messing with Sakura-chan!"

"Baka! I lied. Now go away or I'll tell Hinata-chan about that one time in Grass when you and Lee-"

Naruto gulped. "No, no. Don't do that. I'm going!" He cast one last dirty glance in Genma's direction before trotting off in the opposite direction.

Ino rounded on Genma.

For a moment the only sound that punctuated the silence was Shikamaru's sigh. It was very much like an old western faceoff in the middle of the street. Before tumbleweeds had the chance to roll through the scene, Ino spoke.

"Genma, we need to talk."

"Yea, I gathered as much, but did you have to send the rabid attack dog to come get me?"

"I'm trying to be subtle."

"Well I would say you failed miserably."

Shikamaru sighed again.

"Come on Genma, I'll buy you a drink," the round bellied blonde ignored his annoyance.

Genma felt as though he'd fallen down the rabbit hole. But he supposed that worse things could happen than being bought a drink by a pregnant Nara Ino. Even if that particular woman was nothing but trouble, who was he to say no to free drinks?

Damn that woman played dirty…

* * *

"Sakura.."

The deep steady voice tore through the hollow silence of the hallway and made her freeze instantly.

'_Shit, no, no, no. Just go away.'_

"Sakura."

It was firmer and more demanding this time.

But Sakura found she was unable to turn around and face him. After two years of being ignored by him, what do you say to a man like Kakashi?

The sound of approaching footsteps bounced from wall to wall and across the empty space around her.

"Sakura, please," his voice was so close; she imagined she could feel his breath on the nape of her neck. This was not a conversation she wanted to be having right now. Why didn't men ever know when to leave a woman alone?

Sakura clenched her fists in frustration. She knew this was coming sooner or later, but thanks to Genma's distractions, she had yet been able to formulate a plan for dealing with Kakashi. She wasn't even sure if she owed him an apology ('Hey sorry about almost crushing your wind pipe this morning. No hard feelings, right?') or if she was willing to accept one on his part.

Yet here he was sneaking up on her in the empty hallways of the hospital, a place he hated more than soft core porn ('what's the point?' he would ask), so she doubted he would leave her alone, much less let her escape without some uncomfortably awkward exchange of unpleasantries.

But Gods, she did not want to talk to him right now.

Sakura quickly decided to recycle her failed strategy with Genma. Be polite, yet distant. Maybe Kakashi would get the clue and leave her the hell alone, or maybe he would just be as lazy as usual and give up.

Yes, it may not be a good plan, but it would avoid having to deal with any of the painful feelings that surfaced wherever Kakashi was concerned.

Kakashi watched the tense back and shoulders of kunoichi standing before him.

This young woman looked the same and walked the same and even smelt the same as his Sakura, but something deep underneath everything was very much not the same.

"Kakashi-san, will you excuse me? There is really somewhere I have to be," Sakura addressed him without even turning back. She did not wait for a response as she anxiously shifted her weight to step forward.

"No, I won't."

'_God dammit!'_

"Sakura, look at me," he demanded as softly as he could manage.

"I'm sorry Kakashi-san, I really do need to be going," she replied stoically and politely, yet still refusing to give him the courtesy of looking him in the eye.

Kakashi was having trouble identifying the sensations he was feeling. Sakura was making him angry by acting so distant and addressing him in such a formal way. But she was also making his chest ache. This is not how Sakura acted. This was not right. He wanted so badly to close all that space between them by taking her into his arms and squeezing the warmth back into her. But he knew she was much more collected than last night, and that physical contact would not be permitted. But hell if he was going to address her back. She was his former student, his former friend, and a fellow shinobi of the Leaf, and she could at least look him in the face when he talked to her.

"Sakura, I am ordering you right now to turn around and look at me."

And with that demand, Sakura's carefully composed sense of control crumbled.

"Or what Kakashi-san? Will you have me thrown in the brig? Did you come here to pick a fight with me and pull rank?"

"Sakura" he growled out.

Sakura spun around to face him. "What the hell do you want?" she spat.

"I came here to apologize," he narrowed his eyes and stepped challengingly forward.

"Well you're doing a real fucking good job," she shotwhile stepping backwards away from him.

"You're not giving me a chance Sakura," he growled and preceded towards her, hand extended to grab her shoulder.

"Don't touch me! You don't get to touch me," Sakura ducked out of the way of his hand and continued to back away.

Kakashi noted the look akin to fear flash across her eyes. '_Shit! This is not going the way I planned_,' he thought. Her standoffishness had made him angry, and his anger had in turn made her frightened. He was scaring her again, and that is the last thing he wanted to do. But even as she stepped back from him, attempting to retreat from his presence, Kakashi couldn't help but follow after her. It was like she was the negative to his positive and the magnetism was much too strong to resist. He needed to calm her down so he could apologize appropriately. Not just for last night, but for everything.

"Sakura, please stop this. I just want to talk," he pleaded softly while still advancing on her.

"NO! I don't want to talk about it. Just leave me the hell alone," Sakura stubbornly shouted.

Suddenly their little game of flee and pursue was brought to an abrupt end when Sakura ran out of hallway and hit her back against the wall. Kakashi watched as her green eyes opened wide in surprise and then the subtle shift in her weight that indicated which direction she intended to flee.

As Sakura turned to get the hell away from the man who would not leave her the fuck alone and was completely ruining her plans, a hand reached out and grabbed her wrist. Her arm was yanked roughly and before she could blink she found herself trapped between the wall and Kakashi, her right wrist still held tightly and pinned against the wall by her head. Her other hand remained free, but Kakashi had her caged in on the left side with his forearm flat against the wall above her shoulder, his face leaning in towards her ear.

"Don't run," he whispered, his breath rushing over her cheek despite the mask.

Sakura drew in a shaky breath. At this close proximity it was impossible to escape the wonderful physical sensation of Kakashi. His scent, the feeling of his thumb running in a circle over her pinned wrists, but most of all the warmth of his body seeping into her. It was all giving her a heady feeling and she realized she needed to get away, and quickly.

"Kakashi-san, please let me go," she whispered while pushing lightly against his chest with her free hand for affect.

"Stop it," he ordered.

"Stop what?" she let her free hand fall and hang at her side.

"Stop acting like this dammit!" Kakashi could feel the anger swelling up inside again. "Sakura, this is not how you act. You're supposed to yell at me, hit me, lose your temper, do something," hepleaded.

What did this man want? A chakra enhanced kick to the balls?

"This is not you. I know you, and this is not you," he continued, his voice catching.

'_How redundant_,' she thought.

"Why are you being like this," he whispered into her ear.

Kakashi felt the woman underneath him violently tense. It was ironic really. Not twenty-four hours ago, he had flipped out at finding her pinned between Genma and a wall. And now she was right back in the same position again with him. However, whereas she seemed to enjoy being so close to Genma, it was clear to Kakashi that if he let her, Sakura would run away and not look back.

"You think you know me," her soft voice.

"Sakura-"

"Let go, now," her voice, though still soft, had become demanding.

Kakashi relented and stepped back away from her soft body. Her eyes were burning green, showing him the anger that she felt.

"Don't you dare presume to tell me who I am. You have no idea who I am. You haven't even spoken to me once in two years. How dare you act like you know me!"

"Sakura, stop this."

"NO you stop it. How dare you?"

"I'm-"

"I don't want to hear it. Just leave me alone."

"Sakura-"

"I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING HEAR IT," she shouted before turning and storming off down the hallway.

Kakashi felt something inside him come to a boil. He was angry. Angry at Sakura, angry at Naruto, angry at Genma. But most of all he was just plain fucking pissed off with himself.

"DAMMIT," he yelled into the sterile silence of the building which he hated so very much. The pressure burst as feelings suddenly became action and Kakashi found his fist embedded deep within one of those loathsome colorless walls.

"Um, Kakashi-san?"

"What?" he asked breathlessly as he stared at the hole he had apparently created.

"Hokage-sama requests your presence," the nameless ninja nervously informed him.

"Great," he seethingly responded. The other nin disappeared as quickly as he came, probably trying to avoid the same misdirected wrath that the wall had been victim to.

O yea, that's exactly what he needed right now. A visit to the Hokage was _sure _to make him feel better.

* * *

A/N: My view on reviews- if the story which I have spent hours and hours working on has brought you even just a little bit of enjoyment, then the least you can do is write a review. Now, in all fairness, I never reviewed either before I started writing, but now I always take a second to let an author know what I liked about thier work and sometimes I even let them know what I think they can improve on. The best reviews are always the ones that point out specific things which are either good or bad, since they help a new author like me grow in my writing.

But seriously, look at the reviews this story has gotten so far for chapter six. They are AWESOME and are really helping me as I work on Chapter 7.


End file.
